Journey to the West

American Demons

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18

April 07, 2021 by Jori Sackin

Star Man dances around the ring, roundhouse kicking the air as The Amazon circles, his green webbed fingers grab the purple muscular shoulders as he leans in, starts to eat his head, his red lips chomping, the blood spraying in 8-bit streaks across the screen. Monkey mashes the buttons but it’s too late. He’s thrown to the pixelated mat and pinned as the screen flashes “GAME OVER” followed by a sheriff’s star, “Don’t Do Drugs” in block letters underneath.

He looks up from his phone as Sam gives him a friendly pat, sits in the chair in front of him.

“How’s that game treating you? Learn anything?”

Monkey shakes his head.

The other wrestlers mill around the men’s room of the armory. No one’s talking much. Lots of different colored gym bags, men looking in the mirror, getting their makeup right, adjusting capes, lacing boots. Sam’s dressed in a grey pin-stripe suit that’s too big for him. Monkey’s in a black t-shirt with bone letters that reads, “The Missing Link.”

Sam scratches his beard, leans in not sure how to begin, clasps his hands together then looks him in the eye.

“You’re…not from around here. I think we’ve established that.” He looks deep in thought then raises his hand as if something’s about to come, thinks some more, then finally, “You probably aren’t going to understand this but…Monkeys mean something different in America…in the south…than they do in…”

“China?”

“Right.” He smiles. “I’ve dined at my fair share of Red Star Buffets. There’s always a monkey on the placemat. Part of the astrological calendar right? They represent,” he rotates his hand, “mischief, cleverness, something like that?”

“Something like that,” Monkey says cocking his head.

“Our astrology is…different here. Monkeys don’t conjure up the same…associations.” A man in a unitard with a lighting bolt on his crouch walks by. “Do you see what I’m getting at?”

Monkey shakes his head.

“How can I put this?” Wrinkles spread across his forehead. “Some people don’t think highly of,” he touches his hand to his chest, “black people. They think of us as animals and they associate us with monkeys.”

Monkey frowns.

“Why is that bad?”

Sam laughs.

“I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.” He clears his throat. “I’m not trying to put down monkeys.” He leans back. “How can I explain this?” A man in a leather mask and a zebra cape walks by. “These people…they don’t like Monkeys and they don’t like black people so they link the two. Kind of a fuck you to both of us, you know? They think of Monkeys as dumb, savage, untrainable and that’s how they think about us. Like we’re animals. That if we were given every opportunity we’d never amount to anything because we have this…I don’t know…this thing inside that we can’t escape from. Does that make sense?”

The man in the leather mask hovers by them then asks, “Have you seen my feather boa?”

Sam turns.

“I’m having a conversation here!” Lets out a deep sigh. “Did you try the plastic bins? Sometimes people put things in there.” Turns back to Monkey. “Sorry about that.”

“Who are these people? The people you're talking about.”

“That’s the thing. Back in the day, it was easy to tell because everyone was open about it. Down here, in the south, some still are, but nowadays, you’re not sure who they are. Could be anyone. Who knows how many are here tonight. Might be one, a handful or the whole damn crowd.”

Monkey looks confused but nods.

“So you might be thinking, why’s he telling me this? Well, we’re performers, and more than that, we’re wrestlers and what do wrestlers do?”

He thinks for a moment.

“Wrestle?”

“Sure. That’s what we do with our bodies but what we’re really doing is finding that thing, that thing that gets under their skin, and then we go out there,” he says pointing to the red curtain,” and we needle them with it relentlessly.” He puts his hand on Monkey’s shoulder. “You’re a heel. Your job is to make them hate you. Really hate you. Most of these people have come to laugh, to make fun of the fact that we’re grown men in tights that pretend to beat each other up, but what they don’t expect is that we’re going to take their insecurities, lay them in front of everyone and laugh in their face.” He pokes Monkey in the chest. “And that’s how we get them. That’s how we turn them from being dumb hicks here to laugh into dumb hicks that want to murder us.”

Monkey thinks this over.

“Shouldn’t we be doing something…more useful?”

Sam shakes his head.

“That’s not our job. Our job is to make a buck. To get asses in seats. To make them remember us, so while they’re yelling every profane thing they can think of back home, we’re at the bar spending their money.” He takes a Liggett out of the pack, taps it gently on the table. “Look. I know you’re a monk and you’re trying to make the world a better place, but I’m here,” he points to the concrete floor, “trying to get what I can, while I can. And is there a better way? Yeah. There’s a better way. But it’s not our way. It’s not my way. I make do with what I have, and right now I have a magic fucking monkey in a hick town in south Florida, and yes, I’m a black man, but I’m also a performer, and I couldn’t live with myself,” he points to his oversized suit, “as a performer if I didn’t exploit what I have sitting in front of me. Do you understand?”

Monkey nods.

“Now leave the talking to me. I’m your manager so you just have to walk up to that ring nice and slow and look at them like they don’t mean shit, and then we’ll introduce the babyface and he’s going to come out and the crowd’s going to roar and he’ll dance around and taunt you and then that bell’s going to ring and you’re going do what we’ve practiced, ok?”

“Ok,” Monkey says.

“They’re about to play our music. When you hear those first notes, your whole body’s going to feel it and you’re going to want to run out and jump into that ring. Don’t. Wait. Wait till you get that feeling and then wait some more. Let them stand there looking at that curtain for as long as you can and then when you can’t stand it anymore, you push through and let them see who you are. Becky! Christa! Come here.” Two women in short shorts and tube tops walk over. “You’re going to follow him in, put your arms around him and do all the things I told you ok? It’s almost time. You ready?”

Monkey cracks his neck and smacks his hands together as the “oi’s” from AC/DC’s TNT echo across the armory. The crowd immediately starts booing as the chords crunch the opening rhythm and Monkey starts hopping up and down. Sam peeks through the curtain as a gravelly voice blares over the PA.

“See me ride out of the sunset
on your color TV screen
Out for all that I can get
if you know what I mean

Women to the left of me
Women to the right
Ain't got no gun
Ain't got no knife
Don't you start no fight”

The guitar drags as Sam throws open the curtain and strides out. Monkey, Becky and Christa follow behind as the chorus erupts. The crowd stands and boos, some throw cups, hands to their mouths screaming as Monkey glares with his most ferocious demon face. Sam leans his weight against the ropes, holds it open as Monkey steps in and goes to his corner. Becky and Christa kiss both his cheeks then take his shirt off leaving him in a pair of tiger print spandex, his small hairy frame bouncing up and down shadow boxing as the music is cut and Sam grabs the mic from the announcer.

“I’ve been on the road so long all these dumb hick towns look the same. What’s the name of this one again?”

“Wauchula!” the crowd yells.

Sam strides around the ring not missing a beat.

“Wachula. That’s right. Went to the bar last night to try and pick up one of these Wauchula women,” he pauses for dramatic effect, “but they were all so ugly I ended up sitting by myself googling your stupid town.” Boo’s rain down. “And it turns out that Wauchula’s an Indian name. Means, ‘Call of the sandhill crane’. Did you know that? Pretty poetic. Takes quite a mind to come up with a name like that.” Another pause. “Too bad your ancestors were degenerate Indian murdering fucks. Didn’t think too much of black people either did they?” More boos. Finger-pointing. A few laughs mixed with the shrill scream of a woman in the front row. “That’s why it must really piss you off to see a handsome black man up here surrounded by all these beautiful women,” he grabs Becky pulling her close, “and your poor dumb ass is sitting there hoping one day that fat corn feed cow of a woman at your local VFW will let you slip it in her one more time before you die. Isn’t that right Becky?” 

She laughs and nods as popcorn falls like confetti.

“Wauchula. Did you know your claim to fame is being the cucumber capital of the world?” The crowd cheers. Sam drops the mic to his side shaking his head as the cheers die down. “Imagine being proud of a cucumber. How d’you guys get to growing them anyway? Was it because these Wauchula women finally got fed up with…”

He’s interrupted by “Eye of the Tiger” as a young man in American flag trunks bursts through the curtain wearing the championship belt. The crowd erupts as The Golden Boy grabs the mic and Sam stumbles out of the ring taking the best pratfall he can manage. 

“I want to say on behalf of all the decent people of Wauchula,” he waits for the applause to end, “I couldn’t stand back there and hear that bull corn for another darn minute,” he continues over the cheers, “because the people of Wauchula are the most decent, welcoming, sincerest bunch of folks I’ve ever had the pleasure of growing up with and you can say all the things you want, but we’re here to wrestle so why don’t we settle this in the ring!”

He drops the mic, throws off his black nylon jacket emblazoned in sequins, struts around waving to the audience as Monkey stands in the corner, looks to Sam who gives him the “OK” sign, mouths the words, “Don’t kill him,” as the bell rings and the wrestlers move to the center.

The Great Sage Equal to Heaven
squares off with The Golden Boy
They grapple, stomping on the mat
moving into position
as Monkey’s thrown off the ropes 
ducks under an outstretched arm 
only to come from behind 
and deliver a hammer blow
to the Golden Boy’s head
Among the boos and sweat
two men work in secret
trying their best to take
an elbow to the face
a well-timed kick to the crotch
writhing in pain
holding their balls
over nothing
as the referee’s thrown to the floor
and the Golden Boy leaps from the top rope
Everyone rises
as he comes crashing
and Monkey’s lifeless body
lies mangled
in the center of the ring

Monkey opens an eye to see if he’s expected to do something as The Golden Boy struts around taking in the cheers. He looks up to the metal joists above him, counts the lines in a single column, then gets bored, looks over to the people in the crowd, the glee in their faces as a big boot is lifted and comes down on his head. There’s a woman holding a corn dog, bathed in golden light, her hand clenched tightly around the slender wood rod as she waves it at him, a large hunk bitten off, the meat of the dog exposed. Her red lips open, scream words he doesn’t understand, as another black boot comes down on top of him.

“Get up,” The Golden Boy whispers hovering above, then louder, “Get UP!”

Monkey does not get up. He’s too busy watching them laugh and drink and point, their phones raised, taking pictures, furiously sharing a small snapshot of a monkey lying on a mat, a man’s boot on his face.

”They hate me,” he thinks, “but…is it enough?” He ponders this as The Golden boy tugs on his arm. “No.” He’s pulled to his feet. “I can make them hate me more.”

Monkey grabs The Golden Boy, swings him around then tosses him thirty feet in the air. Everyone’s eyes look to the ceiling as he leaps, bursts into flames, does a triple summersault then sails down smacking him in the middle of the ring breaking the spring and sending the ropes flying into the crowd. The entire auditorium grows silent as Monkey stands grinning.

Sam buries his head as a man in a tank top jumps out of his seat, points a fat angry finger at him.

“That nigger’s got a magic monkey!”

The front row clears as the crowd knocks over the guardrails.

Monkey turns to face them, eyes blazing.

“We gotta get out of here,” Sam says touching his shoulder. “C’mon!”

They duck down behind the ring then scramble underneath as

Metal chairs clang on the concrete
whistles and screams
the smell of mace
a thousand footsteps all at once
in different directions
boots stomp
bodies fall on the mat
yelps of joy
as grown men
fling themselves on top of one another
the security rushing in
clears the crowd
doors slam shut
megaphones blare
as the yells fade
and the echos in the hall
grow to an ominous
silence

Monkey and Sam poke their heads out. No one’s left except two security guards looking a little dazed, gold lacquered name tags, Kurt and Kalvin, pinned on tan uniforms. They survey the wreckage, kick a few beer cans and shake their heads as Sam and Monkey get to their feet.

“Jesus,” Kurt says.

“Certainly got them boys riled up,” Kalvin says taking a closer look at Monkey. 

“Lil’ sensitive since his wife left him,” Kurt says pointing to the closed door past the scattered metal chairs and styrofoam cups, “on account of his small penis.”

“That’s what she says,” Kalvin butts in. “Heard she left him for bein’ an alcoholic.”

“Little penises don’t help matter’s none.”

“Sure don’t.”

“Got a regular size one myself,” Kurt says patting his crouch.

“Me too.”

“No complaints so far,” Kurt says smiling.

“Though they say size don’t matter.”

“They do say that.”

“They say a lot of things though.”

They both laugh. Kalvin picks up a half-empty beer can and tosses it in the trash.

“My wife was sayin’ the other day ‘bout this exercise she heard on the TV where you squeeze your muscles and it’s supposed to make your vagina smaller. Said she saw it on one of those daytime talk shows.”

Kurt shakes his head.

“Talkin’ ‘bout vaginas in the daytime.”

“In my day they didn’t talk about vaginas. Big or small.”

“Or penises for that matter.”

“This being a wrestling match, I suppose you ought to be prepared for that kinda talk.”

“Modern times and all.”

Kalvin picks up the championship belt, throws it over his shoulder.

“That boy never had much sense.”

”Even less so on account of his wife.”

“That woman put up with a lot.”

”Or a little, if you know what I mean.”

They both laugh.

“I’m sorry,” Sam says interrupting. “Maybe I’m the only one confused here, but what the hell are you talking about?”

Kurt tips his hat back and points to the double doors leading out of the armory again.

“Karl. The sleeveless one that charged the stage.”

“Him and the entire Klan from central Florida is out in the parking lot waiting for you boys.”

Sam looks toward the door.

“So you boys going to help us out or what?”

Kalvin points to his badge.

“We’re just the security for the armory. Not all of Wauchula.”

“It’s our job to protect you to those doors.”

“After that you’re on your own.”

Monkey and Sam walk over and peek out the window. 

Three men 
in pointy klan outfits
stand in the parking lot 
a two-foot tall cross 
made out of 1x2’s 
burns on a Hampton Bay Ashcraft
30” steel fire pit
lighting up their eyes 
as they peer out 
the almond-shaped holes
of their hoods

“There’s three guys,” Sam says looking back.

“Like I said,” Karl says walking up behind. “The Klan.” He waves and calls out. “Hey Darrell!” 

The Klansman on the right waves back. 

“Why don’t they like crosses?” Monkey asks.

Sam watches the flames.

“It’s not that they don’t like crosses. It’s like…if you have a van but you want to make it more badass. What do you do?”

“Put flames on it,” Kalvin says.

“Everyone knows that.”

Monkey watches it burn as one of the Klan steps forward.

“You boys better come out or else…” But before he can finish Monkey’s pushed open the doors standing as tall as he can manage as he adjusts his tiger-striped undies. The three Klansman exchange glances. “I didn’t think you’d come out so quick.”

“Well, we’re here,” Sam yells back. “Now what?”

The three huddle together and discuss.

“Just a minute,” one of them says digging in the duffle bag. “I really thought you’d stay in there awhile. Give us more back and forth like, ‘I ain’t comin’ out’ and then we’d be like, ‘Oh yes you will’ and then you’d say something like ‘You’re gonna have to come and get us’ and then we’d have some kinda negotiation where you lay out your demands.”

 “All right.” Sam says stepping forward. “I demand you stop being morons.”

“Well, I demand you stop being black,” one of them shouts back.

Sam rolls his eyes.

“Since neither of those things are going to happen, what’s next?” A sword is pulled out. A small black cauldron is set on the pavement. Candles with cartoon knights are placed in a circle. Travel size nazi flags are scattered on the asphalt as they touch the sword with their hands and whisper some words over it. “How much longer is this going to take?”

“We’re almost done,” Darrell says spraying the sword with lighter fluid then handing it to the leader who stands over the cauldron, whispers something then calls out, “Rise Big Jim,” as he points it up to the sky like He-Man waiting to be zapped with lighting. No lightning comes so Darrell flicks his lighter and the sword bursts into flames. The other two start doing a little dance, occasionally throwing their hands in the air, putting one foot in and one foot out as they turn and shake it all about. The sword starts glowing as the ground shakes. The overhead lights dim and turn red as a ghost army of Klansmen rise from the ground. The sword continues to shake as a large white spectral uber-man rises from the cauldron, his bald head shining, tattoos glistening as he raises his fists and lets out a roar which immediately gets a round of applause from the spectral army of The Klan. 

The cheers die down as Big Jim takes the sword which grows massive in his hands. Monkey motions for Sam to move back as he takes his cudgel from his ear and lunges forward. 

Monkey and his gold banded cudgel
Big Jim and his majestic sword
battling over yellow lines
and black spaces
the knight slashing and cutting 
Monkey dodging and gnashing his teeth
neither side gaining or losing
Blocking the mighty sword
Monkey’s feet dig into the pavement
The white knight kicks him in the stomach
a stiff black boot
sends him into the cement blocks
as he stomps on Monkey’s face
puts his massive hand around his neck
raises him up for all to see
The spectral army cheers
as he parades the body around
and Monkey thinks to himself
that this is the most fun
he’s had all day

Big Jim throws him to the ground, snatches his pouch, digs around and pulls out the white ceramic monkey. Shows it to the crowd. There’s murmuring followed by a few shouts of, “Kill it!” He raises it high above his head.

“I cast you out demon!” Big Jim roars. “In the name of Jesus Christ, I send you back to hell!”

A white ceramic monkey
holding a ball off to the side
looks up to the night sky
gripped by two sweaty hands
it’s thrown to the ground
the face and arms and tail
crack
spread out
burst onto the asphalt
a thousand jagged pieces
sliding across the blacktop
The crowd cheers
and Monkey looks up
to the night sky
as the distant hum of a guitar is heard

Darrell takes his hood off, strains to hear piano chords mixing with the buzzing of the parking lot lights as the soft subtle roll of a guitar moves over the hills and in that dark Floridian sky a spark is seen, jumping this way and that, growing larger, and soon they see him, Elvis, feet planted on a cloud, hip thrusts careening him forward as the opening melody of ‘Burning Love’ splashes over the landscape like so much light reflected off his blue sequined jumpsuit.

“Lord Almighty, feel my temperature rising
Higher n’ higher. Burning through to my soul
Girl, girl, girl, you gonna set me on fire
My brain’s flaming. I don't know which way to go.”

Elvis streaks across the sky riding a cloud, one foot forward, shaking and moving, his arm outstretched as he swoops down and flies over The Klan. His cloud descends next to Monkey and Sam. The music fades as Elvis kneels, points a hand up to heaven then stands, removes his glasses to a smattering of applause.

“Thank you very much.” He surveys the parking lot. “Tough crowd.” Turns to Monkey. “These knuckleheads givin’ you trouble?” Monkey nods as Elvis throws a glance back. “Don’t look like much if you ask me.” Walks down the line of Klansmen peering through the eyeholes then turns and makes his way back to Monkey. “You know the only thing that’s gonna crack all these serious looks on all these faceless hoods is a good old-fashioned love song, you know what I’m saying?” Monkey frowns, shakes his head. “I like you Monkey,” he gives him a wink, then addressing the crowd. “Feel silly for asking this but in all my excitement I’ve forgot my gee-tar. Any one of you boys have one I could borrow?”

Darrell slowly raises his hand.

“He’s on their side Darrell!” Karl hisses standing next to him with his hands on his hips.

“Yeah, but…it’s The King. How’re you not going to give a guitar to The King?” He pulls one out of the back of his van, hands it over, as Elvis inspects it, strums a bit, tunes the D string.

“This should do just fine. Thank you…”

“Darrell.”

“Thank you Darrell. Now Darrell, and everybody else here tonight, I got a song for you and this is my absolute favorite so I want you to listen real close. After living and dying and living again I learned a few things and the first is, well, there ain’t no sense in playing dress-up parading ‘round causing a whole lotta trouble for folks like these,” he says gesturing to Sam and Monkey. “Now I know this here’s a demon monkey, but let me tell you he is the nicest demon Monkey this side of the Mississippi. Nicer than most of the people I met in showbiz I can tell you that.” There’s laughter and Elvis mulls this over, “and that ain’t no Jewish joke neither. I love them Jews like I love these fine folks behind me.” He slaps his guitar. “And that’s what I’m talking bout. This worlds ‘bout lovin’. Seems simple enough. Trite even. But dang if it ain’t true. Can I get an amen?”

“Amen,” Darrell yells. 

“But you know sometimes you can’t find someone to love or sometimes the person ends up running out on you, breaking your heart, stomping on it even. Shoot, half my songs are ‘bout heartbreak and misery and all the pain and anguish of not being loved. And when that happens, the whole world seems like it’s against you, and it gets dark, and you start looking ‘round at this here paradise and see nothing but enemies lurking in the shadows conspiring to take what’s yours, and it might feel like the only thing you got is to find someone to stomp on ‘em just to prove there’s something under you, and dang it, I can’t say I haven’t been there before.” Elvis points to Darrell. “But I’m here to tell you that ain’t the way. This camaraderie you feel ain’t nuthin’ against the love of a good woman, and that hood you’re wearing, well, let’s just say there’s more to this world than you can see through those holes you poked through your bedsheet, you hear what I’m saying? Somebody give me an amen.”

“Amen,” Darrell says.

Elvis strums the first few chords of Love Me Tender then stops.

“Now, everybody knows this song. Heard it so many times you might stop hearing it. I know I did at times, but here’s something you might not know. This here melody was lifted straight from an old minstrel ballad called Aura Lea ‘bout a beautiful maiden with long blonde hair. Course we rewrote the lyrics and made it what it is today, but underneath it ain’t nothing but a song soldiers used to sing ‘bout a beautiful woman that no one’s ever gonna reach, and that’s the saddest story of all, a woman out there, trapped in a song, that you can’t hug or squeeze or make feel right.” He strums a few chords then stops again. “There’s a lot in these simple songs. Some of me. Some of you, and I suppose the sad old history of our nation is down there too, but let me tell you, it’s something to take a song and try to turn it right. Make it happy and lovin’ and sincere. Do it the best you can, but the funny thing is, after all that window dressing, sometimes it still comes out heavy and hurting and full of sorrow, cause that’s just the way it is.”

Elvis walks through the spectral army of the Klan and begins.

“Love me tender,
love me sweet,
never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
and I love you so.”

The Klan starts taking off their hoods so they can hear. A few put their arms around each other and sway. 

“Love me tender,
love me true,
all my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin' I love you,
and I always will.”

Each man finds a partner and starts to slow dance, laying their spectral heads on each other’s shoulders as the song drifts past the parking lot, past the highways, past the fields of wildflowers and the XXX adult shops, past the fireworks stands, all the way to the ocean as waves crash, the strumming reverberating over the land as a great sob gushes out and the tears well up and start to stream down.

“Love me tender,
love me long,
take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong,
and we'll never part.”

Elvis points to the boys and men in the crowd, touching their shoulders and looking them in the eyes as guttural sobs are heard. Big Jim breaks down, throws his arms around Monkey as they sway together. Monkey looks confused as Elvis continues,

“Love me tender,
love me dear,
tell me you are mine.
I'll be yours through all the years,
till the end of time.”

The Klan assemble in one long line as they give Sam a sloppy wet hug, chests heaving and tears pouring as Sam pats them on the back, looking at his suit, worried they’re going to leave a stain. 

“Love me tender,
love me true,
all my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin' I love you
and I always will.”

Elvis stops strumming as the collective wail of the Klan dies down. He hands the guitar back to Darrell, face wet with tears then puts his hand on his shoulder.

“You boys should go on home now. Tell that little woman you love her, and if you don’t have one yet, well, you better get yourself together as best you can and go out and find one cause she’s waiting for you out there and you sure as heck ain’t gonna find her hanging out with this pointy hat hood brigade, understand?”

Darrell nods as his two brothers and the whole spectral army walks off sobbing and wailing until their moans fade into the soft hum of the parking lot lights leaving Elvis, Sam and Monkey alone, the travel size nazi flags tipped over next to the plastic cauldron as Elvis walks over, dips his finger then sticks it in his mouth.

“Raspberry,” he says looking wistfully to the sky then turning to Sam and Monkey. “Now what’re you boys up to? You hankering to run back to your motel room or are you gonna take The King out for a good time?”

A few minutes later they’re walking into a karaoke bar, two women drunkenly singing “Sweet Caroline” as Elvis rolls his eyes and mutters, “This song again.” He and Sam head to the bathroom as Monkey sits down and surveys the crowd.

Two Hispanic women in white t-shirts
sit at a table with a Vietnamese couple
They’re laughing waving to
a black woman behind the bar 
who pulls a bottle of whiskey off the top shelf
pours six shots for the men at the counter
They smash their glasses together
as Sam and Elvis return
eyes wide
sniffing and grinning
as the whole bar breaks into applause
for The King’s return

Elvis pulls Sam on stage with some thank you’s and waves as Ebony and Ivory starts playing and they take their positions doing their best to ham it up as the crowd chants along with them and Monkey claps and laughs. The song ends and Elvis grabs Monkey with a, “Get on up here,” as the next song starts and the microphone is thrust in his hands. He’s petrified looking at the monitor as the words light up for Toots and The Maytals “Monkey Man”. Sam and Elvis slip back to the bathroom as Monkey nervously hops from one foot to another, not knowing the melody as the crowd helps him sing along.

Twelve drinks later, the bar is winding down. They’re out front, the bartender locking up behind as Elvis throws his arm around them both, gives them a hug then sweeps the bartender up in his arms as he drunkenly jumps on his cloud and rises in the air. Sam and Monkey wave then start walking back to the hotel. Everything’s closed and the silence descends for this first time as they walk down the middle of the street admiring how shiny that silver Buick is, the hand-painted locksmith sign over the window hangs a bit crooked with the cartoon cross-eyed lock or the shuttered flower shop with newspaper over its windows, a small “coming soon” sign stuck in the window.

“So you’re some kind of supernatural being from another dimension, huh?” Sam throws a glance over as Monkey nods. “Doubt I’ll ever understand but…from one man to another, give me some advice. Tell me something. C’mon. Don’t hold back. Lay it on me.”

Monkey thinks for a moment then holds Sam’s hand and looks him in the eyes.

“Don’t do drugs.”

Sam stares back then laughs.

“Shit. You got anything else ‘cause that sure as shit ain’t happening.” He kisses him on the head as they walk into the night, Monkey pushing his head into Sam’s side as he throws an arm around.

“I have to leave soon.”

“I know,” Sam says giving him a squeeze. “Let’s say our goodbye’s tonight. Just you and me and this big ugly sky.”

“It’s beautiful,” Monkey says looking up.

“Yeah? I guess so.”

They stop in front of the motel.

“I should get Lil’ Darlene.”

Sam cracks the door, looks around then swoops up the dog and hands her to Monkey.

“I’ll see you around,” he says suddenly distracted, shuts the door as Monkey leans against the metal balcony, looks over the city shimmering in the distance, the songs still playing in his head. He watches the lights brighten, listens to the birds chirp their early morning chorus, and the city, a few small buildings wedged against the soft bend of a highway, glows as the sun crests over the dark hills of the horizon.

April 07, 2021 /Jori Sackin
journey to the west, elvis presely, monkey, monkey king, great sage equal to heaven, pro wrestling, wauchula
1 Comment

15

December 20, 2020 by Jori Sackin

The McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy’s beacons click on as the yellow lines of the road begin to vibrate. The tired eyes of Pig and Mara, having searched the countryside for hours, fixate on the red taillights ahead. A soft blue screen in the back of a Dodge blooms into focus. A square of light turns into a band of soldiers running up a hill. A bomb explodes silently as they pass. The faces of the family, the license plate, the car melts into a ball of light then down to a speck then nothing but the yellow lines again, the monotonous rhythm of the road, soothing and irritating, front-facing, as the interior dials of the van sharpen and the world grows small and dark.

Billy squirms in his seat, hands duct-taped to the steering wheel, looks in the rearview to Pig splayed out, hooves against the window, head resting on a rolled-up pair of jeans.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” he says sheepishly.

Pig sits up, squints trying to read the road signs, then looks over to Mara.

“We can let him poop his pants or we can cut him loose. I vote for number one.”

“So you vote for number two?”

He snorts.

“That’s the first joke you’ve made all trip.”

“I make jokes all the time. It’s just the first one you understood.”

“You see what I have to put up with?” Pats him on the shoulder then points to the exit. “Take this one.”

Billy lets out a sigh of relief as they pull into a gas station.

Two teenagers on the curb
stacks of bottled water
the glass doors slide
as a man in a sleeveless jacket
tosses his cellophane near the trash
whistles to a woman
who extends a middle finger
for all to see.
He lights his cigarette
the cherry burning
under the glossy sheen
of the vinyl banner
plastered to the window
of the Phillips 66

“I’m not taking him.” Mara picks at the duct tape. “And don’t eat him while you’re gone.”

Billy looks in the rearview. 

“You…eat people?”

Pig folds his arms

“Why’s everyone so down on eating people? She lops people’s heads off and you’re a serial killer. I eat a few people and it’s the end of the world.” He leans over. Looks at Billy’s hands. “I don’t have a knife.”

“I don’t have one either.”

He points to the mannequin as Mara rolls her eyes, opens her door in disgust, marches to the back, returns with her sword, slices, then sheaths her sword. Billy lets out a whimper as a severed pinky hangs off the steering wheel. 

“Nine out of ten,” Pig nods in approval, “that’s an A-minus.” Pulls him out of the car, throws him over his shoulder, walks behind the gas station, kicks open the men’s room door. A trucker is sitting on the toilet looking at a Hustler, jumps halfway off his seat as they lock eyes, Pig’s monstrous form backlit under the fluorescents.

“Hey,” Pig says nonchalantly then noticing the pack of cigarettes sticking out of his shirt pocket. “You smoke?” The man, frozen at first, hands him a cigarette and lighter. Pig leans his forearm against the frame of the door. “Been on the road with the old lady for hours.” Takes a drag. “Hates it when I smoke. So, how’s your night going?”

“Pretty…good.”

“My night is,“ blood drips down the front of his shirt from Billy’s severed pinky, “so so.” Offers the cigarette to the man who shakes his head. “Hustler huh?” The trucker hands it over as he flips through the pages, pulls out the centerfold, a woman in a fireman’s hat with a hose wrapped around her leg, the nozzle resting between her breasts. “Life sure is complicated. Know what I mean…”

“Pete”

“Named after St. Peter right?”

“It was my father’s name.”

“St. Peter. Guarding the gates of heaven.” Flips the page. “I’ve been to the gates of heaven and I’ve never met anyone named Pete.” Looks up from The Hustler. “Sounds crazy, right?” Pete nods. ”You know what else sounds crazy? A demon pig that can talk.” Billy squirms and he shakes him. “Quiet Billy,” then back to Pete. “There’re four gates. Four directions. Four gates. Why would you have one gate? Pretty inconvenient if you’re on the north side and the only way to get out was through the south, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

Pig turns the page to a woman in a cowboy hat, six-shooter in each hand standing over another woman wearing a headdress, fake blood smeared over her body half-covering her tribal tattoo. A paper-mache fire is blowing beside them. A rubber snake pushes its way through the empty eye sockets of a bleached cow skull as a southwestern acrylic moon hangs above, painted on a sheet of gauzy fabric some intern pushed Christmas lights through.

“Life sure is complicated.” He hands the magazine back as he sizes him up. “Pete, you seem like a guy that’s got a lot going on. Places to be, people to meet and all that. So let’s cut to the chase. I’m going to give you two options.” He leans in so he’s lit by the overhead light. “Option one is I eat your face. I’m going to eat the rest of you, but I’ll start with your face. How do you like that option Pete?” Pete vigorously shakes his head. “I didn’t think you’d like that one. That’s why there’s number two, which is, you get up, go back to your truck, start driving and in 10 years when you’re an old man, you can sit around and tell the story of the night you met a demon pig in the men’s room of a Phillips 66 and how you let him look at your Hustler and lived to tell the tale. How does that sound?” Pete pulls up his pants and runs out of the bathroom. Pig watches him go then sets Billy down on the seat. “All right Billy Boy. Time to make a tinkle.”

Billy holds his hand and winces.

“Are you going to watch me?”

“Not really my thing but I am going to stand outside and if I hear anything funny we’re going back to option one, ok?”

He walks out, leans against the red cement cinder blocks of the building.

A dumpster with a wood fence
dozens of street lights
a small median
the wet grass glowing green
curves around to the parking lot
of a Pizza Hut
and in the window
framed under an awning
a perforated vinyl wrap
of a pizza-shaped heart
meaty chunks submerged in cheese
as a woman’s hand pulls a slice away
the cheesy strings dripping over
her red nails
the same color as the awning
and the Pontiac
double-parked in the lot.

“What’s going to happen to me?” Billy asks unzipping his pants.

Pig watches as a family is seated in a booth across the street.

“I’m going to eat you.” The family examines their placement menus as the waitress twirls her hair and rattles off the specials. “Or Mara will cut your head off.”

“Will you at least kill me before you eat me?”

Pig watches the mother look through her purse. She pulls out a piece of candy and hands it to the little boy. The girl’s already crawled under the table. She fishes her out, plops her down, dangles a toy till she distractedly takes it, throws it at her brother.

“How many people have you killed Billy?”

“….Four.”

The husband leans over, says something that makes both the kids giggle.

“Four. I bet they asked for a lot of things toward the end. Did you ever give them those things?” Silence. Pig looks down the alley. Mara’s sitting in the passenger seat staring at her phone. “I’d tell you how many people I killed but honestly I can’t remember.”

“I don’t know what you are but…can’t you at least appreciate…I mean…you murder people. Can’t you see we’re not so…”

“We’re not so different? Really? Sure, we have one thing in common. You know what else has one thing in common? Everything. Literally everything has one thing in common.” He kicks a piece of gravel and it bounces across the asphalt, rolls and stops in the gutter. “Wanna know why we’re different Billy? For one, people like me. They may not love me. They may not let me babysit their kids, but they like me. They like me because I’m disgusting. Because I have this pig head on top of these rolls of fat. It makes them accept it. The things I do. And that makes them feel good because if there’s one thing they know, it’s that they’re not me. But you…” He snorts. “They despise you. They look at you and they're outraged. Four people. That’s incompetence in my line of work.” The waitress comes back with four waters. Slides them across the table. “People hate you Billy. They hate you because you don’t make any sense. You fooled them into thinking you were one of them. They’re mad at what you’ve done, but what really gets them is you made them wrong. They thought you were one way, and it turned out you were another, and suddenly, at least for a moment, everyone’s a killer. They look at their friends, their neighbors, that quiet guy across the street and think, do I know them? Do I really know them?” He takes a drag. “That’s why you’re the monster,” exhales a cloud into the night air, “and I’m just a demon.”

The waitress takes their order, walks back to the kitchen, pushes open the swinging door. The cook is fishing a pizza out of the oven, a sleek stainless steel rectangle, red and burning as the doors swings shut.

“How…did you become…like this?”

“You know who the Jade Emperor is?” Silence. Pig shakes his head. “The ruler of heaven and nobody’s ever heard of him. To make a long story short I slept with his wife. Not the smartest thing I’ve ever done but there it is. Still not sure if I slept with her or she slept with me. Know what I mean?” Takes another drag then tosses the cigarette on the ground. It rolls next to an empty bag of Funyuns. “After he found out, he turned me into this. Sent me back to earth, and here’s where I go from hating the man to respecting his attention to detail, because that in and of itself is pretty bad, being a pig demon, but in his heavenly wisdom he made me fall in love with a woman. We got married. Lived on a farm outside the city. Had a kid even. And then he made me eat them.”

The husband puts his arm around his wife. Gives her a little squeeze.

“I was always this way,” Billy says. “I didn’t want to be like this. Things that were supposed to feel bad felt…all my wiring…everything inside was backward. I didn’t want to be this way. I didn’t. It’s not my fault, but those people. They wouldn’t leave me alone. They couldn’t just accept I was different. They had to rub my face in it. They wouldn’t…”

“Here’s the thing Billy. It’s no accident I’m waiting outside a men’s restroom for a two-bit killer to take a shit and you didn’t end up with a man-eating pig and a homicidal little girl on accident either. There’s a reason we’re here and they’re there.” A pizza is set in front of the family as the hands reach in and pull it apart. “We couldn’t cut it. Simple as that. We tried to live normal and it didn’t work, and so we took what was left.” Pig looks up at the moon, clouds hugging it on either side. “I’m not evil because I want to be. I’m evil because I’m lazy, which is a little better if you think about it one way, and a little worse if you think about another. I’m sure you had a shitty life. I had a shitty life. Maybe those people in there had a shitty life too. But I’m past being able to feel sorry, for you, for me, for anyone. It’s too much work. You had a shitty life and you’re going to have a shitty death and that’s all there is to it.”

Billy flushes, pulls up his pants and walks out.

“What was her name?”

“Who?”

“Your wife?”

Pig frowns.

“Ji.” He pauses. “I haven’t said her name in…” Stares at the pavement then turns and walks toward the van. ”C’mon I’ll use my magic powers to put your finger back on.”

“Really?” he says excitedly following behind.

“I’m just fucking with you Billy.” He pats him on the back. “I’m a demon. I just destroy stuff.”

Mara’s in the front seat eating Twizzlers as Pig slides in back and Billy turns the key, the starter cranking but not turning over. The third time it catches, the hum of the engine vibrates the front seat, as Billy, wincing in pain, reverses and smacks into the car behind them. Mara’s Twizzlers go flying. Billy is thrown into the steering wheel as Pig turns to look through the two rectangular windows to see,

a man in white silk samurai armor
bright red skin and bulging eyes
unbuckles his seatbelt and steps
onto the wet pavement
a green snake in one hand
a trident in the other
he stands with all his glory
looking down at the dent
on the driver’s side
of his Cadillac

“That’s one of the heavenly kings!” Pig whispers.

“What’s he doing driving a car?”

Mara moves further down in her seat.

“I don’t know! Do you want me to get out and ask?”

“What should we do?”

“I don’t know! What’s he doing?”

Billy checks the rearview.

“He’s looking at his car. Now he’s on his phone. He’s calling someone. Oh god. He’s walking over. What should I say?”

Pig transforms into a human as Kōmoku-ten, Heavenly King of the West, bends over, his bright red face framed in the window of the van.

“I hope you have insurance.”

“I do,” Billy says reaching across Mara into his glove box. Kōmoku-ten inspects it then hands it back.  

“The cops should be here soon,” he says, then slightly annoyed, “Did you not see me?”

“I just hurt my hand a little,” he says holding up his missing finger.

“Oh my god! How did you…”

“No, this happened before.”

“You don’t have a finger,” looks at the steering wheel covered in duct tape, a pinky hanging off, then over to Mara who’s stuffing a Twizzler in her mouth. “What’s going on here?”

“If you’ll let me explain.” Billy opens the door and steps outside. “You see, I…” He takes off running. Kōmoku-ten watches him go for a while then sails his trident through the air piercing Billy’s chest and sticking him through the side of a PT Cruiser. He turns back, eyes glowing red. “You two mind getting out of the van. Or are you going to make this difficult?”

Pig morphs back into his monstrous pig-headed self. Smiles.

“Oh, we’re going to make this difficult.”

He smashes through the side of the van ripping off the door, landing on top of Kōmoku-ten, as Mara runs to the back, throws the doors open only to be knocked over as Pig comes careening through the air as they both go sprawling across the lot.

Kōmoku-ten outstretches his fingers and his trident pulls out of Billy’s limp body and flies back to his hand.

Mara squares off as Pig scrambles to his feet.

“Can you do that?” Pig asks. She shakes her head. “Damn. Neither can I.”

She puts her hands on her hips.

“You know how women complain that dresses don’t have pockets?”

Pig looks at her in disbelief.

“You’re really going to start complaining about the patriarchy now?”

She reaches into her dress pocket, pulls out Billy’s gun, cocks it and shoots Kōmoku-ten five times in the face. The Heavenly King reels over, drops his trident as she makes a run for the van, unsheathes her sword then throws the rake over to Pig. The Heavenly King scrambles to his feet, his face badly bruised, one eye swollen. Pig raises his nine pronged rake.

“I can’t believe you shot me!” Kōmoku-ten touches his eye.

“So it’s fine to stab people with a magic trident but you can’t shoot them in the face?” Mara says cautiously moving toward him.

“It’s a heavenly trident! I’m a heavenly being!”

“I’m sure you’ll feel better once I cut your heavenly head off.”

She raises her sword.

The snake curled around his arm opens its mouth. A red jewel the size of a turnip is clutched in its fangs, glows a fiery red as a beam burns a basketball-sized hole through Billy’s van. Mara dive-rolls over to Pig who scoops her up with his rake, tosses her, sending her flying. She hacks the serpent’s neck as its head flops to the cement. The red jewel slides across the lot as The Heavenly King of the West clocks her in the head with the butt of his trident sending her sailing through the gas station window smashing into the ice cream cooler, the cartons of Blue Bunny spilling onto the floor.

Pig scraps his rake across the ground sending a shower of sparks, tries to sweep his legs, but Kōmoku-ten dodges, shoves his trident between the prongs, both weapons embedded into the asphalt. Pig lunges, belly flops on top as they roll around smacking into gas pumps, knocking them over. Some customers flee to the Pizza Hut parking lot. Others stay holding their phones as the fuel bubbles from the earth.

Mara picks herself up, grabs two bags of Feugo Taki’s, rips them open then runs outside. The Heavenly King is on top of Pig, his hands around his neck as she comes up from behind and smears the red powder all over his face. He screams, staggering back, rubbing his eyes, pushing the chili powder deeper into his skin, falls to his knees, then starts glowing, pulsing, rises, high in the air, a bright light emanating from his forehead that opens into a golden eye. A thousand concentric circles of light course over his body as his trident shoots back to his hand, the tongs glowing as he points it down to Mara and Pig below.

A red beam pierces the Heavenly King’s armor sending him crashing into the gas pump that explodes in a giant fireball. Mara turns to see one of the teenage boys holding the red crystal.

“Do you know how to drive?” she asks grabbing his arm.

A pimply face in a black Nine Inch Nails t-shirt, skinny legs in a pair of carefully ripped jeans. He flips his hair to the side and crosses his arms.

“Kind of.”

She pulls him into the Cadillac as another gas pump explodes. Pig pulls his rake out of the pavement as Mara hops in the passenger seat. He dives in the back as the rest of the pumps catch fire. They peel out as a great fireball erupts in a mushroom cloud that leaves a black smear across the sky.

“We sure are good at that,” Pig says turning back.

“At what?”

“Blowing up gas stations.” He wiggles his body against the white leather seats as they barrel down a frontage road. “What’s your name kid?”.

“Bill.”

“You can’t be Bill. The last guy was Bill.”

“But…that’s my name.”

“What’s your real name. The one you’ve always wanted to be called.”

“How bout Ricky? Like from Ricky Oh?” His phone buzzes in his pocket and he looks at his screen. “You think I’ll be back by 11:00 cause that’s my curfew.” 

Mara and Pig look at each other.

“We shouldn’t drag him into this,” she says leaning over the backseat.

Pig shrugs.

“What was that back there?” Ricky says texting, occasionally checking the road.

“That was the Heavenly King of the West and right now he’s probably picking himself out of the ashes and figuring out what happened.”

“No, I meant. What was that red jewel thing?”

“I don’t know,” Mara says. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Does it represent…love?”

“It’s just a red jewel,” Mara says flatly. “It doesn’t represent anything.”

Ricky nods taking this in.

“So…are you guys on a quest to find all the jewels? Like, is there eight scattered across the world and they’re all hidden in super-secret locations, and you need to get them by tomorrow or, like, the whole world will be destroyed?”

Pig’s eyes light up.

“Ricky, that sounds way better than what we’re doing. Why don’t we collect all the jewels Mara?”

“Stop it. This is serious. Can you be serious for one god damn second?”

“Uh, guys,” Ricky says checking the rearview.

Pig and Mara both look back as The Heavenly King of the West shoots overhead and lands in the middle of the road, trident in hand. The car slows to a crawl then stops, the headlights lighting up his red face, the silk brocaded samurai armor and the yellow ‘Click it or ticket’ sign with a picture of a seatbelt behind him.

Pig and Mara step out. Slow-walk to where he’s standing. 

“Let’s try this again,” he says. “I’m not here to kill you. I’m here to take you back to heaven, so you,” he turns to Mara, “can go back to your father,” and you,” he turns to Pig, “can go back to DOING YOUR JOB.” He puts both hands on his trident. “C’mon. You know me. I’m the Heavenly King of the West. I’m not here to kill you.”

Pig touches his lopped ear.

“You could’ve fooled me.”

“Just calm down a second. This whole thing is a big misunderstanding. The Jade Emperor told me to bring you back to heaven and that’s what I’m doing. That’s it. I don’t have a problem with you guys. I’m just doing my job.”

“Are you giving me the, ‘I’m just doing my job’ speech?”

“I’m giving you the ‘listen to reason before I have to smash your face speech’.”

Pig laughs.

“I just gave that speech!”

“So, what’s it going to be? Leave the kid and…”

A red beam shoots out and zaps Kōmoku-ten in the face, who flies back across the asphalt, his eyes burnt black as he screams and writhes around. Ricky is holding the jewel, a giant hole blown through the windshield. Pig and Mara run back to the car, hop in and take off, swerving around The Heavenly King’s body.

“I can’t believe you got him again!” Pig says looking behind them. “I’ve been doing this a long time and that never happens. You get them once, but it NEVER works a second time.”

“I totally blasted that demon monster!” Ricky says.

“You totally got him,” Pig says laughing, “though…he’s not a demon.”

“No?” Ricky changes lanes.

“No. He’s more like a protector god that watches over people and helps them reach enlightenment.” 

“Oh.” Ricky mulls this over. “That sounds like a good thing.”

“It is a good thing Ricky. We’re actually the demons. But still, really glad you got him in the face.”

“Oh.” Ricky looks at Pig then over to Mara who digs in her pocket, pulls out a Twizzler, tilts it in offering, which Ricky accepts and starts chewing. “So…you’re the bad guys.”

“We’re not bad,” Mara says. “We just don’t fit in with how things work.”

“You’re rebels,” Ricky says narrowing his eyes, then more quizzically, “so… I just shot god in the face with…my love crystal?”

“Not a love crystal Ricky,” Pig says. “Not a love crystal, and he’s a god, but there are lots of them. It’s complicated. God stuff is complicated. If I explained the whole thing your head would explode and I don’t mean your view of the world would change forever.”

Ricky nods knowingly.

“He’s lying. It’s not that complicated and it won’t make your head explode.” She taps him on the shoulder. “Take this exit.” He swerves onto the off-ramp. “See that gas station up ahead, the other side of the Burger King. Yeah, that looks nice and empty.”

They pull in the lot, park, turn the headlights off, sit there quietly listening as Mara peers out the window looking up to the sky and down the street. She settles down, puts another Twizzler in her mouth and relaxes, looks through the windshield to the words ‘Burger King’ lit up and beaming, smashed in-between a cartoon bun.

Shakes her head.

“That’s the problem right there.”

“You don’t like whoppers?”

“No, not that.”

“I think there’s an Emperor’s Express?”

“No. The Heavenly Kings. The Jade Emperor.”

“Who’s The Jade Emperor?”

Mara waves him off.

“It doesn’t matter.” Turns in her seat to face Ricky. “What would you say if you were in a country ruled by kings?”

“What would I say?” Ricky scratches the few hairs on his chin.

“Monarchies are a joke. Props. Worse than that. Tabloid headlines. Celebrities. They don’t have power because the truth is we’ve moved on. We like our kings in movies or selling burgers, but put one in charge of the tiniest bit of our lives and,” she smacks her Twizzler down on her hand. “The French had it right. They knew what to do with kings. Everyone knows what to do down here, but turn our eyes to heaven and suddenly we’re all fine with a little authoritarianism.” She shakes her Twizzler. “These are patriarchal hierarchies Ricky. Why isn’t there one heavenly democracy where things are ruled by the people? Why is the afterlife always a dictatorship?”

Ricky chews on his Twizzler.

“Are you asking me or are you going to…”

“I’ll tell you why, because heaven was built a long time ago. They didn’t know what they were doing. The humans had kings so they thought, ‘Why not have kings too.’ I know it’s not supposed to work that way, but that’s how it happened. They’re making it up as they go along just like you, just like me, just like that fat idiot in the back.”

Pig rolls his eyes.

“So what’re you going to do about it? What’s your plan? You gonna run for the first female president of Heaven?”

“No,” Mara says ripping a piece of licorice with her teeth. “My plan is to sneak into heaven, find the Jade Emperor and cut off his head.”

December 20, 2020 /Jori Sackin
journey to the west, Zhu Bajie, ricky oh, mara, The Jade Emperor, Burger King, The Heavenly Kings
1 Comment
116.05.jpg

14

November 08, 2020 by Jori Sackin

A lump of clay spins as a hand pinches the top and a neck emerges. A knife comes into frame, cuts into the terra cotta, effortlessly patterns the sides. An old man leans back, smooths the ridges with his thumb, dips a wire loop in water, touches it to the sides and a ribbon falls to the floor. A dog barks and he looks up. Stops. The vase stops. The clouds in the window stop. He’s frozen, looking out of frame, his hand caught in a moment of thoughtlessness, the overhead light shining two bright circles on his glasses. Then everything skips. Five seconds. Ten. A closeup of his smiling face. Then, in a series of beeps, he’s gone, nothing but Monkey’s face reflected back in the gloss of his screen.

He puts his phone away, floats in the void looking out to a sea of black.

“Now what?”

He paws the inside of his pouch, the hard tips of the ceramic monkey, the soft rubberiness of the heart, peeks inside and the faint glow is illuminating the leather walls, the white monkey holding a nondescript sphere, its eyes watching as Monkey pulls the heart out, holds it like the monkey’s holding the sphere, guardedly, with both hands, off to the side. He raises it like he saw a cartoon baboon do in a movie once but…nothing. No great light opens from above. No music. No epiphany. No chorus of animals singing. He cradles it in his lap, runs his finger over the veins that bulge their way inside the pink flesh.

“I’m trapped.”

The thought rattles around then settles in his stomach. He frowns, feels his face and chest tighten, tries to ease the tension but the more he concentrates, the tighter it becomes.

"What is there to be upset about? There is…nothing.”

He takes a deep breath. Exhales loudly.

"I'm relaxing.”

His face tenses up.

“I’m relaxing.”

His chest starts to hurt.

“Relax.”

He thrashes his body against the void, loses his grip and the heart floats away, rotates, slowly, slowly, turning end over end as the light dims. A wave of panic floods as he kicks his legs, swims over till he’s holding it again, a warm tingle melting the tightness in his chest.

"I feel good,” he looks curiously at the pulsing pink flesh. “Why?”

He pushes the heart away, watches it rotate, slowly, slowly, turning end over end till it’s a speck of light then kicks his way over, grabs it again, but this time there’s no satisfaction. No relief. Already he’s bored.

"It’s gone.”

The wrinkles spread across his face as he feels his chest tighten.

“Don’t think about your chest. Don’t think about your chest. Don’t think about…” But the more he tries, the more he fails. He fails and fails and fails and continues to fail and somehow does not do anything differently. Each breath boxes him into an ever-tightening space. Each inhale makes the void shrink, grow more geometric, pointy, the edges pushing in on him. "When I want to crush a demon, I whip out my cudgel, dodge every blow and strike, but when I want to do a simple thing like stop my chest from tightening. I can't. It's my chest!”

He hits himself.

"Listen!"

But he does not listen.

“I should stop trying to feel better," he concludes.

He shuts his eyes and tries to not try but after a few minutes gives up in exhaustion.

"I can't do it. I can't get out of here. I keep trying the same thing as if the problem is.....what? I'm not doing it right? How do you do it right? Maybe Tang Sanzang knows.” A sudden pain pushes in. "I'm never going to find him." Then a deeper pain hits. "He doesn't know." It stabs him and he winces squeezing the heart so tight its flesh squishes through his fingers. "All I've done is cause destruction. Wherever I go. People die. I can't save them. I can't. But I need to try. I need to do something!"

He thrashes again.

"Why do I keep doing that? It doesn't help."

He looks at the heart and for a moment he’s mesmerized by the colors, the veins and chambers somewhat visible as it pulses in his hands. He stares at it in wonder.

"The pain went away. Why?” He turns it over in his hands. “Because I was interested." He looks into the void. "What else is interesting?" But there is nothing. “Be interested," he tells himself. But he isn't. The pulsing glow which was once compelling is now mundane. He squints and forces himself to focus but he’s bored. His mind starts racing. His chest tightens.

"You’re failing! Be interested!"

But he is not.

“This is Pig’s fault. If he was here, he’d stick his big fat head in and call for me and I’d know where to go.” He sees Pig, his hulking frame next to Mara, small and scowling, his hand on her shoulder, and feels another stabbing pain. “I know you,” he thinks as Pig’s face zooms into monstrous focus. He pulls his cudgel out and swings but there’s nothing to hit. He looks up and the circle of light is above him as if he’d never left.

The blue cloudless sky and the sun and the corner of a fender are above him cut out in a perfect circle. “What did I do? Why do I deserve to find my way out?” He crawls out of Sand’s body, back into the junkyard. His hands splash a swirling rainbow puddle of purples and greens as he gets to his feet. Sand’s body is mangled, pitch-black insides, one hand twisted in a fist, the other an open palm to the sky.

There’s a busted headlight in a tuft of grass, a silver dome with broken plastic bits sprinkled inside. He brushes it out with his fingers, the concave chrome distorts his face as he smiles showing all his teeth, looks angry, happy, sad then doesn’t look like anything at all. The absence like a thick molasses pools in as he dips it into Sand’s body, lifts it up and stares into it. No reflection. Nothing. Like someone punched a perfect circle in the universe. 

He unfastens Sand’s necklace, the skulls fall into his hand, as he scrounges around, finds a Taki bag, lays the silver insides on top of the headlight then tightens the necklace around it. The silver reflective plastic shines in the sun as the colored skulls dance along the edge, each settling, staring off in their own direction.

He carries Sand over to a small tree growing out of an oily patch of dirt, digs a hole and sets him inside, pushes the dirt on top and smoothes it over, stabs a fence post into the ground then scribbles in his best Chinese script, “Sand,” then underneath, “Friend”.

The oily dirt compresses in his hands as he rolls out a long stick, looks for a suitable offering but the only things he sees is a pink spiral-bound notebook. “Amanda’s Secret Diary,” then underneath, “DO NOT OPEN!” He thumbs through. Stops at a page covered in stickers.

A pink horse.
A family of bumblebees.
A bouquet of flowers wearing sunglasses.

He peels off the bouquet and sticks it on the bottom of the post, sets the stick on fire as he sits and prays over the grave.

“I should say something,” he thinks, but there is no one to say anything to, so instead he bows touching his forehead to the ground, stays like that, his nostrils hovering above the earth, then rises, jumps to his feet. A mountain of used tires peaks in the distance. Stacks of cars scatter the yard. “This place is a mess.” He leaps on the tires, tosses one and it sails and lands in an empty field, a single black circle. He tosses another and it lands next to it. Tosses four more and a ring forms. He gets excited and does another ring around that, then another, till the circle is a hundred feet wide. He leaps over to the stacks of cars and rips them apart, organizes them by color. The red metal goes here. The blue metal goes there. And so on.

He flies a hundred feet in the air, looks down at the inner circle made of tires, the outer circle made of color-coded scrap. “Much better,” he thinks, “but…” He lands and hears the manager from the trailer running over, waving his arms, yelling.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?” He towers over Monkey catching his breath, wild-eyed as he surveys the yard. “DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT’S GOING TO TAKE ME TO…” Looks around. “WHERE THE HELL IS DAVE?”

“Dave is dead.”

“GOD DAMN IT,” slaps his side, “I knew he was gonna do this to me! Now I gotta call the cops. Fill out reports. My whole day’s ruined,” swivels his head around. “Where’s the body?” Monkey points to the grave as he walks over to inspect it. “What’s that?” he points to the grave marker. “What’s that gobbledygook on there?” He smears it with his palm trying to rub it off.

“Don’t touch that.”

He rips the marker out of the ground and throws it in the dirt.

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN’T TOUCH! YOU’RE LUCKY I DON’T…”

Before he can finish Monkey has leapt on top of him and crushed his head like a grapefruit. The blood spurts onto the dirt, the body limp and heavy as he tosses him over the fence into some brush. The body caught in the branches hangs like a scarecrow, arms outstretched, head back, face caved in like a mask looking up at the sun.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Monkey thinks. “I didn’t want to kill him.” He frowns. “That’s not true. I did want it. I wanted it and I did it in the same second.”

He picks up the grave maker, sets it back in place, sits down and draws in the dirt not sure what he’s making. He snakes it around till he comes back to where he began, his finger carving through the earth, making tiny ridges on either side.

“When was there time? When was there time to do different?” He plays through it again. Sees the manager, the anger and bewilderment as his hands crush his skull. A strong wind blows and the smoke takes a hard right, turns to a long grey tail, the ember glowing red, then stops, dies. The smoke rights itself pouring up to the sky. “I’ve done it before,” he thinks. “I can remember how I wanted to kill, but the monk stopped me, and pretty soon…it wasn’t that I learned anything. It was that I stopped wanting to.”

He pulls his phone out. “I should play a song,” he thinks. “This is important.” But it’s dead. Rubs his finger over the slight scratch on the rectangular glass, feels a great urge to crush it in his hand. “Why?” He puzzles over the dark screen. “The scratch,” he thinks. “Before it was flawless. Now,” he feels the tiny ridges on his thumb, “it’s all I can look at and I hate it. I hate that it’s ruined.” 

“You’re libel to lose yourself in all those deep thoughts.” 

Monkey summersaults around to find a light-skinned black man in his 50’s, speckled grey beard leaning against a Buick.

“Nice summersault. You always move like that?”

“Only when someone sneaks up behind me.”

“Flat tire,” he says thumbing to a van parked by the trailer. “Butch and I are headed to a show in Miami. All-Star Wrestling!” he says moving his hand in an arc like he’s displaying some great banner that doesn’t exist. “Heard of us?” He pauses for any sign of recognition. “We’re just getting started. Had a lot of luck in Omaha. Armories. Small town stuff. You a wrestling fan?” Monkey cocks his head and furrows his brow.  “Professional wrestling? Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Mr. Perfect, The Million Dollar Man?”

Monkey shrugs.

The man scratches his head and tries something else.

“My friend and I got a flat. Guess I already said that. Didn’t see anyone at the office so I took a walk out here. Didn’t expect to find a talking monkey and,” he looks over to the body hanging in the brush. Monkey follows his glance. “That’s some mighty Monkey strength you got there. I shouldn't be worried about it, should I?” Monkey shakes his head. “Name’s Sam.” He extends his hand and Monkey shakes it. “Look, maybe he was threatening you. Maybe he pulled a gun. What do I know?”

“He disrespected the grave,” Monkey says then more solemnly, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No. Probably not. But a man’s got to have RESPECT for…” He winces. Cracks his knuckles. “Shit. I’ll level with you. I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. There are two things I do know though. Raising money and Wrastlin’.”

“Wrastlin’?”

“There’s that look again. You’ve never heard of wrastlin’?. Screaming fans, music blasting as you take the stage. Two grown men bouncing around in tights, putting each other in headlocks,” he demonstrates on an imaginary opponent. “Or as my friend Butch likes to say, ‘pile drivers, pills and pussy’. Whaddya think? I was talking to some midgets in St. Joe bout coming along, but they’re busy with a convention in Dallas. You ever been to Dallas…uh…”

“Sun Wukong.”

“You ever been to Dallas, son?”

Monkey’s eyes light up as his gaze penetrates the yard, sees another man in a white minivan by the manager’s office, a flat back rear tire.

“If you’re from the Midwest, what are you doing here?”

Sam laughs then gets a serious look on his face.

“Came down for a woman,” he says wistfully then, “You know anything about women?”

Monkey shakes his head.

“Well, apparently neither do I, which is why we’re headed back. You want to come with us? Think we could make a lot of money.”

“Monks aren’t allowed to have money.”

“Forget the money. Come and learn something. Have an adventure or two.”

“I’m waiting for my friends. If I leave, they won’t be able to find me.”

“You’re living in the 21st-century son! You can find anyone with a push of a button. Don’t you have your friends number?”

Monkey shakes his head. 

“We’ll figure it out. In the meantime, I know you don’t seem worried about that body over there but…how should I put this?” He looks at his hands and flips them over. “If you haven’t been able to tell I’m a black man and this is the state of Florida, and personally I don’t want to wait around and see how racist the police are. Know what I mean?”

“You’re black?”

Sam raises an eyebrow.

“Are you fucking with me?”

“You don’t look black.”

He laughs.

“Normally I’d be offended, but seeing as you’re a foreigner I’m going to strike that last comment up to what we in the United States call ‘cultural differences’. Here’s a tip though, not so much for you, but for the sake of the next black man you meet. Don’t ever…”

Across the yard a gravelly voice calls out, “We going?!?” 

Butch has opened the door and put one foot out of the van.

Sam grabs Monkey by the hand.

“We don’t want him seeing this,” tugs on Monkey’s paw. “C’mon! We’ll call your friends from the road.”

Just then a small white curly-haired dog breaks across the yard, sniffs Sand’s grave, barks, then turns and runs up to Sam. 

“Some junkyard dog,” he says bending over to pet it. “This is one of those yappy white people dogs.”

“Who are ‘white people’?”

Sam lets out another deep laugh.

“I’m afraid we don’t have enough time for that conversation.”

Monkey picks up the dog, brass tag dangling from its neck that reads, ‘Lil ‘Darlene,’ then underneath, ‘What the hell are you doing with my dog you son of a bitch!’

“I know whose dog this is,” Monkeys says.

“Great. Take it and let’s get out of here.”

Sam rolls a tire over to the van as Monkey climbs in. Butch slams the door, leans back in his seat, closes his eyes as Monkey and Lil’ Darlene sit looking out the window to the trailer, the air conditioning blowing into the yard, the milk crate stairs tipped over. Sam hops in and starts it up and soon they’re cruising down the highway, ocean on either side, Butch silent, Sam occasionally checking the rearview, fiddling with the radio, as they drive down Route 1. Monkey closes his eyes, dips into sleep, a warm comforting blackness hugs him then is abruptly ripped away by the slamming of a car door. The sky is dark, parking lot lights shine from above as Sam stands by the window, An American Inn behind him.

They pile out, wind their way up a metal staircase then find their way to room 432. Sam locks the door and throws the key on the bed.

“We’re here boys! All the splendor $69.95 can buy!”

Butch goes into the bathroom and closes the door as Monkey sits on the floral print comforter and bounces up and down, looks at a roach crawl across the blinking alarm clock. Lil’ Darlene runs around the room. Sam steps over her, bangs on the bathroom door with a bottle wrapped in a paper bag. There’s the sound of rustling. The door cracks and a hand emerges. Sam holds out the pint of whiskey as the hand closes around it then pulls it back in. The door shuts and Sam goes and sits on the bed opposite Monkey.

“He’ll be fine. He needs a minute to collect himself,” looking at the door. “Amazing how much there is to collect these days,” then to Monkey, “suppose you don’t drink on account of being a monk.” He pulls a second bottle from his pocket. “I know it’s silly,” unscrews the plastic lid. “But Butch isn’t much for sharing,” takes a swig then puts it on the nightstand next to the lamp. “So, while he’s busy putting all the pieces back together, why don’t we go over the finer points of wrastlin’ seeing as you don’t know a damn thing about it. First things first,” he looks him up and down. “Are you a babyface or a heel?”

Monkey cocks his head.

“Are you a good guy or a bad guy?”

“There’s no middle?”

“Look. Son. This ain’t a Swedish art picture where we explore the finer shades of morality. This is wrastlin’. Stark lines. Easy stories. Good guys.” He holds out his left hand. “Bad guys.” He holds out his right. “Don’t make this difficult.” He raises his left hand as if it’s holding a small round weight. “The good guy’s a local boy, patriot, man who loves his country, who does right by his woman, loves his mother. The hero that overcomes adversity, that gets the shit kicked out of him and then in a miraculous show of strength, pulls through in the end. Pushes past all the cheating and lying and subterfuge. Jumps from the top rope with an atomic knee drop and,” he raises his arms, “BAM!”

Monkey smiles. 

“Now look, everyone wants to be the babyface when they start. Hell, who wouldn’t want all those people cheering for them,” he leans closer, “but I’m here to tell you the heel is where it’s at. The heel’s the bad guy, the out of towner, the city slicker, the boss, the rich guy, arrogant, flashy, you know, wears a gold cape and...”

“You have a gold cape?”

“I’ve got an entire van load of that crap. But here’s the deal. Butch and I are going to go out for a little bit and I want you to sit here and think about your character. Who do you want to be? What’s your name? And before you start getting all philosophical on me, just remember, you’re a talking monkey. Play to your strengths. I don’t want to come back and find intricately laid plans of how you’re a businessman from Texas or, I don’t know, a cross-dressing beast from Brazil.” He thinks for a moment. “Well, that last one might actually work. Alliteration is your friend.” Waves his hand. “You know what I mean. And think about what you want your intro music to be.”

“I get music?” Monkey’s eyes swell.

“Sure you do! Whatever you want.” He looks over at the door. “Seeing as we have some time, let’s go over the basics. First wrastlin’s not like other sports. It’s not about who can hit the hardest or run the fastest. That’s boring, right? Who can run fastest? Who cares. Wrastlin’s about teamwork. You’re in that ring and you’re both trying to make each other look good, BUT, and here’s the kicker, you gotta pretend you hate each other’s guts. The fans are screaming for blood and you’re in there dancing and improvising and leaning into that elbow. You’re selling it and I know you can take a hit, and you sure as hell got the strength, but, you have to know when to use it. You have to learn how to read the crowd and give ‘em what they want, and then take it away. I know that’s a lot, and there’s no way to get it besides stepping in there and feeling it out, but there it is.”

Sam holds his fist up.

“Now don’t kill me but I’m going to lightly hit you and I want you to pretend I punched you as hard as you’ve ever been punched before.”

“I’ve been punched pretty hard.”

“Just take the punch and go down and this is the important part, don’t kill me.”

Sam delivers a slow right hook, his fist smacking into Monkey’s face, who doesn’t flinch. 

“So, you’re not a natural. That’s ok. We’ll have plenty of time to figure this out. Just fall down when my hand touches you, but make it look like you got hit hard.”

Sam delivers his right hook again and this time monkey falls down on the bed then springs back up.

“Better! That was better!”

Monkey smiles as the bathroom door opens and Butch comes out in a big cowboy hat, jean jacket and matching pants, looks over to Monkey then to Sam. Lil’ Darlene runs up and sniff his boots.

“Hey Sam, how’s it feel not being the ugliest motherfucker in the room anymore?” Butch laughs at his own joke then walks to the door. “We goin’? C’mon. I gotta move!”

“We’ll pick this up later,” Sam says standing up. “Lock this thing behind us ok?”

He winks at Monkey as he closes the door and just like that, they’re gone.

Lil’ Darlene’s curled in a ball on the bed, her dark eyes eagerly watch as Monkey looks around the room. Two beds, an end table, lamp, alarm clock, all of it squeezed into a beige square, the walls economically spaced, the vinyl trim around the doors and windows. He closes his eyes and it all disappears. Feels his face. His chest. His arms. The cushion of the mattress. A tv is playing in the next room. He listens to the soft voices through the walls. Muffled laughter. The crack of a beer can. More laughing as music starts up. The pulsing bass overtakes everything as a woman squeals in delight.

His eyes open and the room is still there. He hops off the bed and wanders into the bathroom. The shower curtain’s been pulled down. The bathroom mirror’s lying on the sink. The perforated tiles of the ceiling reflect down from above, his strange monkey face looking even stranger at the odd angle as he reaches in his pouch and takes out the headlight. The Taki’s bag crinkles as he unties the skull necklace, stares into the black circle settled at the bottom then angles it so it pours onto the mirror. It’s edges growing, slowly, slowly, till they stop. He wraps the glowing heart inside the shower curtain, ties it off with the necklace then dips it in the hole, places the ceramic monkey as a weight holding it there then climbs up on the counter. He sticks one leg in then the other. Eases himself down to the waist. Then his armpits. His neck. His eyes. The top of his head. His small monkey fingers, still grasping the edges of the mirror, let go, as the blackness rises up and envelopes him completely.

November 08, 2020 /Jori Sackin
wrastlin, monkey king, sun wukong, Lil' Darlene, journey to the west
1 Comment
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12

August 16, 2020 by Jori Sackin

"Life is a mystery
Everyone must stand alone
I hear you call my name
and it feels like home"

Madonna blares over the PA as Darlene saddles up to the bar, fresh from another bathroom break and already quite drunk. Loraine, who she’s just met and is now one of her best friends, is slumped over in her stool. Steve the Electrician, as he’s known, though mostly to separate him from Drywall Steve (they both have mustaches and wear hi-vis shirts) is playing pool and occasionally glancing at the TV wedged in the corner. Darrell leans on the register, towel slung over his shoulder, eyeing Darlene, trying to decide what's more of a hassle, cutting her off or letting her drink. She plops down in front of him and smacks the strap of a big purple bra that someone’s staple gunned to the ceiling. On the inside cup “Janet” is written in bubbly cursive, except the A’s a heart.

"Janet's sure got big tits,” she says pulling on the strap. 

"I don't know anything about it," Darrell says washing a glass and stacking it to dry.

"And Darrell doesn't know anything about it." She holds up the shot. "Must’ve been quite a pair. Probably thought she was doing everybody a big favor." Shoots it then wipes her mouth. "This ain’t no TJ. Max neither." She reaches up and gives it a tug. "Victoria’s,” she says in a slurred English accent pinching her fingers together and making ‘the fancy’ gesture. 

"Don't touch the bras. They're part of the decor."

She ignores him.

“Bares her breasts to God and country and nobody even remembers her.”

"I remember her," Steve says laying his pool cue on the table and taking a seat at the end of the bar.

"Well, god damn…” 

She puts her finger to her temple.

“Steve.”

“Steve!” She smacks her head. “Tell us something ‘bout Janet, Steve.”

“Well…” He takes a drink, sets his beer on the coaster and starts to pick at the label with his fingernail. "She’s got big tits.” 

Everyone laughs.

"Had,” Loraine says looking for her purse for the fifth time. “Died of breast cancer last year.”

"Dang." Darlene sobers up, looks at the bra, lets out a sigh then perks up. "Let's drink to Janet!" She pushes her glass across the bar. Darrell crumples in the face of tragedy and pours everyone a shot. "To Janet!" She raises it up then gulps it down. "You wouldn't believe the week I've had." Fingers a cigarette out of the pack. 

"You can't smoke in here."

Darlene fisheyes him then lights it. Takes a drag.

"I don't abide by your rules Darrell with two L's. I DON'T ABIDE!"

"They're not my rules. I just work here and it's the law."

"The law." She scoffs. "You abide by the law Loraine?" Loraine manages to shake her head and continues to shake it long after the conversation has moved on. "After the day I had it makes you think about the law." She pushes her glass closer to Darrell and gives him ‘the look’, a mix between bedroom eyes and ‘I’m about to leap over this bar and beat your ass’. "Would you believe I've spent the last few days with,” she gets unusually quiet, “a monkey man." 

Darrell’s face turns red and he points a finger at her. 

"We don't allow that kinda talk Darlene!”

"What kind of talk?"

"That racist garbage."

She straightens up.

"I'm not racist! You're the one that’s fucking racist!” She slams her glass on the counter. “I spent the last few days with a god damn magic Monkey.”

"I'm racist," Loraine says holding her hand up as if she's waiting to be called on.

"Oh honey, put your hand down."

"Well I am."

“I want another one damn it," Darlene says pulling Loraine's hand to the counter, "and get her somethin’ too."

Darrell walks over and pours a beer for Loraine and a shot for Darlene.

"That's it," he says with as much authority as he can muster.

She takes a sip, thinks about arguing then looks at the TV. A muted televangelist in a white suit is gesticulating wildly, a yellow 800 number beneath him as black blocks of garbled text fill the bottom of the screen. 

"I was raised on this shit," she says pointing. "Didn't go to church but on Sundays when I went to Tracy's…” She leans back and folds her arms across her chest. “She was this cunt that lived the next lot over. Her parents had cable and when they weren't home we'd watch dirty movies. When they were home we had to sit through this bible-beltin'-holier-than-thou-gimmmie-yer-dang-money-so-I-can-cruise-on-the-SS-Pill-Popper-with-my-Christian-airbag-of-a-wife.” She points to the hole in her head, “The fragile minds of children.” Takes a drink. “Idle hands and what-not.” Let’s out a dry smokers cough as she moves the cigarette to the other side of her mouth. Gets out her compact. “God forbid we’d rest our innocent eyes on a boob or a butt or a decapitated head." She looks in the tiny mirror checking all the familiar spots. "Tracy. Pffft. You know she told the Sullivan twins I…” Clicks it shut. “Nevermind about that.” Self-consciously touches the hole in her head and lets out a heavy sigh. “This god damn week.” Raises the shot to her lips then sets it back down, pauses for a moment listening to Madonna belt it out.

“I hear your voice
It's like an angel sighing
I have no choice, I hear your voice
Feels like flying”

She laughs. Shakes her head. 

“You know there’re Gods among us? Beings with power you can't imagine and they're nothing like what that strutting easter bunny of a preacher is going on about.” She watches him pace on stage holding a crystal flask, his headset almost invisible next to his greased hair shining under the stage lights. “I've been to hell or purgatory or whatever you wanna call it and there's no fire or brimstone. Actually, it’s pretty much like this.” She squints. “They had the law down there to Darrell and I didn't abide by it neither."

"Jesus is king," Loraine says.

"That's right," Steve pipes up at the end of the bar. "You accept Jesus Christ as your lord and..."

"Don't give me that shit. You know how many folks have said that to me in my…” She waves them off. “I'm not talking about stories in books. I'm talking about Gods. Wearing zebra-striped pants. Flying on clouds.” She extends her arms out as far as they’ll go. “With long…sticks. Gods. Plural. SSSSS. On this earth. I mean, can Jesus lift a car over his head and jump across the entire state of Florida? You show me in your book where it says he can do that."

Loraine starts searching for her purse.

"God is everything," Darrell interjects.

Darlene swivels her head around and her eyes widen. 

"Darrell with two L's jumping into the fray." She takes another sip. "So you're telling me that I'm God and you're God and poor racist Loraine here is God. Are you God Loraine?"

"Jesus is God," Loraine says. 

"Loraine doesn't think she's God, Darrell!"

He cleans another glass and sets it to dry.

"Some people don't see their connection to the perfection of everything."

Darlene almost falls over.

"Ho. Ly. Shit. Darrell’s a god damn hippie. You got a yin-yang with a peace sign and some flowers on your chest? Lift it up. Lemme see.” 

She finishes the shot. Stares at the empty glass. Purses her lips as a thought rolls over her. 

“If….everything’s God…” She traces her finger around the rim. “Then I'm God…” Darrell nods. “…and that means….that whiskey is God too.” Darrell stops nodding, folds his arms across his chest.

"Not gonna work Darlene." 

"God is LIMITLESS, you…" her voice lowers, "secret hippie." She bangs her glass and gets real loud. "Darrell's a SECRET HIPPIE everyone!" She picks up Loraine’s beer and sloshes half of it down the front of her shirt. "Shit! That wasn't a mistake. It was….,” squints her eyes, “meant to happen. Just like this..." She grabs a stack of coasters and starts throwing them one by one across the room like little Frisbees. “This was meant to happen Darrell!”

“Oh God, I think I'm falling
Out of the sky, I close my eyes
Heaven help me”

He walks from behind the bar as Darlene closes her eyes. 

"The spirit’s guiding me Darrell!” She opens one eye and see’s him bending over to pick up a coaster. “Don't go messing with God's plan!"

He picks up the last one, takes them back to the bar and places them next to Loraine. 

"Watch these for me will you?" Loraine smiles and puts her drink on top of the stack and gives him the thumbs up. “And as for you,” he put his hands on his hips, “if you can’t settle down I’m gonna have to..” Darlene’s eyes are transfixed, her mouth opens as she points behind him unable to formulate words. “What?” He turns in time to see a "Breaking News" banner flash across the screen as shaky video loops of a monstrous Pig smashing into the side of an Applebee’s. He cranks the volume just in time to hear, 

"…Gainesville Florida today as over a 196 people are dead and blocks of downtown destroyed by, from what we can make out, appears to be… a mutant hog. I wish we had more to tell you, but right now here’s what we know. The pig is at large. Downtown Gainesville Florida is in ruins and 196 people are dead. We’ll update you as soon as we learn more about this incredible story. I’m being told that if you'd like to send donations to the people of Gainesville that information should be at the bottom of the screen. Wait a minute.” He puts his finger to his earpiece. “We have a woman who was at the scene. Nancy? Can you hear me? Nancy?”

It cuts to Nancy standing next to a frazzled woman who's nervously picking at the side of her left arm with her right hand making it look like she's holding herself. Nancy blankly stares into the camera then nods and begins.

"I'm here with Amanda Jensen who says she was on the scene when ‘The Pig’, as people are now calling him, went berserk. Amanda can you tell us what happened?" 

The microphone goes over to Amanda.

"Well, I was sitting in a coffee shop drinking coffee. A vanilla latte. And then I heard this sound like a freight train and then the building across the street exploded and a giant cloud of dust rose up and there was flashing. In the sky. I remember the flashing, and then everyone started screaming because we thought it was a terrorist attack and we didn't know what to do so I took my kids and hid in the bathroom till it was over."

The microphone goes back to Nancy.

"So you didn't see the monster?" She shakes her head. "Can you say what you think might've caused him to start destroying the city?"

"Well, I can't say for certain but when I broke up with my Reggie he was real mad and he got drunk and messed up our apartment something awful. So maybe it was something like that."

Nancy pulls the microphone back and looks into the camera.

"That’s the word on the street Ted."

"Well, I'll be damned," Darrell says turning it down.

“I told you!"

"You said you were hanging out with a monkey."

"I was hanging out with him too!"

"It's those GMO's," Steve says at the end of the bar. "I knew they were gonna cause something like this. Splicing fish parts with corn."

"How’re you gonna get a mutant pig outta fish parts and corn?"

"Well there you go," Steve says gesturing. "It's right there on the screen."

"It's a sign of the apocalypse. Like Jesus said," Loraine offers. 

"It says in the bible that a pigs gonna destroy Gainesville Florida?"

Loraine nods. 

"It's in there."

"Show me. You show me where it says that."

Loraine raises a wobbly finger then starts looking for her purse. Darlene, sensing she needs help, scoops it off the floor and slings it onto the bar, a small leather-bound book with gold edges spills out along with lipstick, a half-drunk pint of Evan Williams and a condom. 

"You keep a bible in your purse?"

She doesn't answer as she’s too busy licking her finger and turning the pages.

"Hey. Secret hippie. How bout you. Any bright ideas?"

Darrell puts down a glass. 

"It's just a fact that we've made contact with conscious beings. Beings not from this planet.”

"Aliens," Loraine says not looking up.

“That’s right.” 

"We’re all aliens cause we're all from outer space," she says.

Darlene pats her on the back.

"That's true honey." 

"Oh! Here we go!" Loraine stands abruptly, one hand in the air, a finger extending to heaven. "Jesus restores a demon-possessed man. Mark 5:1." She makes eye contact with everyone to make sure they’re listening. "They went across the lake to the region of...oh…I can't pronounce that."

"Who went across the lake?" Steve asks.

"I don't know," Loraine says flipping back a few pages.

"Just keep it coming darlin’.”

Loraine nods. 

"When Jesus got out the boat, a man with an impure spirit came from the tombs to meet ‘em. The man lived in the tombs and nobody could blind him anymore not even with a chain."

"Bind him,” Darlene corrects. 

She clears her throat. "For he had oft’ been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day. And in the hills he’d cry out and cut himself with stones." 

"Oh!” Darlene winks at Darrell. “This is more exciting than I thought.

"When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell in front of him. He shouted at the top of his lungs," Loraine’s hand raises higher in the air, "WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME JESUS SON OF THE MOST HIGH GOD? IN GOD'S NAME DON'T TORTURE ME!' And then Jesus says, ‘COME OUT OF THIS MAN YOU IMPURE SPIRIT!'"

"Honey, are there any pigs in this story?”

She nods and smiles. 

“And then a large herd of pigs," gives an extra-long look to Darlene, "was feeding on the nearby hillside. The demons begged Jesus, 'Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them' and he gave 'em permission and the impure spirits came out and went into the pigs.” She slams the book. “So says THE LORD!"

She gives a Mick Jagger-like dance move before sitting back on her stool.

"It's all the same thing," Steve replies. "GMO's are the hand of the devil who works through Big Pharma which poisons our drinking water. And you know who controls Big Pharma?" No one responds. "The Jews." He takes a drink. "Alex Jones has been talking about human-animal hybrids for years. Chimeras. Pig humanoid harvesting farms in China.” He shakes his head at the startled glances. “It’s on the internet. You just gotta look it up."

"That's bullshit," Darlene says.

"Well, it beats your magic monkey theory."

"I don’t care one bit for your jew theory, Steve. I wanna get back to Jesus."

"It's in the bible," Loraine says holding it up for Darlene to see.

"Thank you dear. Let me hold that for you." 

“Like a child
You whisper softly to me
You're in control just like a child
Now I'm dancing”

"You know that Pig?" Loraine asks handing the book over. Darlene nods turning the bible over in her hands. "You're real pretty," she says reaching for her head. 

"That's nice honey, but don't go messin’ with my hair."

Loraine leans in and whispers loudly, "You want me to tell your fortune?" She digs in her purse and pulls out a deck of tarot cards.

"Loraine! What would Jesus think about you getting all witchy?"

She gives a serious look. "Please don't tell him." Shuffles and flips three cards over as Darlene, Darrell and Steve lean in to look at The Hanged Man, an upside-down Nine of Swords and The Tower. 

"Well…what do they mean?"

She studies them carefully then chews on the end of her finger. 

"I don’t know what this one means,” she says pointing to the Nine of Swords, “but this one means ‘change’”, she picks up the hanged man, “Like something’s gonna happen that’s significant…like a big change…in your life.”

"Ok, honey. I think the witching hour is over. Why don't you take your cards and your bible and…God knows what else you got in there.” 

The clip of Pig is interrupted with another eye witness account. Darrell turns it up as a young woman is being questioned.

"Can you describe him in more detail for the folks at home?"

"Sure. First I just want to say hi to my mom in Philly and hi to Sharice. Hi Sharice! West Side High! Go Eagles!"

"So you saw ‘The Pig’ in person?"

She nods enthusiastically.

"And what did he look like?"

"He was real ugly. I mean REAL ugly. Like…ugly for a pig."

"Anything else?"

"He was fat."

"Did you get any sense of why he was upset?"

"I don't know but it seemed like, you know, the stores he smashed had people of color in them and so I can't help thinking, this being America and all, that that had something to do with it. You know, because he was a white pig."

The reporter turns to the camera.

"A nazi mutant Pig attacking people of color in Gainesville, Florida. I think a lot of people are sitting around the TV asking themselves, 'Is this what America has become?' Ted."

It switches back to Ted in the studio with a still shot of Pig in the upper left corner with a swastika and a question mark overlaid.

"Lots of questions being asked but few answers. We now turn to our expert on these more,” he clears his throat, “cultural issues. Kate Mannis. Kate, you have a masters degree, why do you think Pig hates people of color?"

Kate, a clean-cut young professional in her thirties, gives a knowing nod.

"You really have to look at the socio-cultural environment that we as Americans have produced, or rather, the one that was handed down by the colonialist oppressors we call ‘the founding fathers’, and you have to ask yourself if we are visited by a demon Pig that feeds off the sins and hate of our country, how could he not be racist and sexist and homophobic?"

"You think ‘The Pig’ was targeting women and gay people as well?"

"Absolutely. He's the perfect symbolic manifestation of the horrors of whiteness and I have to say it's refreshing to see the ugliness that was hidden for so long finally come to light."

"Hard words Kate," he turns to the camera, "But maybe ones we need to hear. We'll be back in a minute folks."

"Horseshit," Darlene says pulling out another cigarette. Darrell opens his mouth, but before he gets it out, "The world is coming to an end Darrell! Let a woman smoke inside for God’s sake!”

She lights it up and looks back at the TV.

A man is spraying himself with a cloud of green mist. He sparkles as the mist turns to crystals that seep into his skin as two women in sexy black dresses join him in the shower and start caressing his muscles. The shower explodes into a stick of deodorant then liquefies into the words, “HARD STICK”. That quickly fades to a couple on the beach eating Doritos. The guy bites into a chip and his head turns into a volcano of cheese which gushes over the beach drowning the woman as they both are carried off on a wave that splashes them down on a deserted island, her wearing a cheese bikini and him holding a bag of Cheesy Doritos. The commercial ends and then it's back to the news.

"This just in," Ted says holding his hand to his earpiece. "New footage has surfaced of four men apparently ‘flying’. You can see it here." Another shaky video pops up as The Heavenly Kings streak across the sky. "These unidentified men are also responsible for some of the destruction as the one with the sword can be seen fighting ‘The Pig’. I have to warn our viewers some of these images are quite graphic so if you have young children at home it might be best for them to leave the room. Kate, what do you make of this recent development in this extraordinary story?"

They switch to a shot of Kate and Ted sitting next to each other then to the footage of a Dunkin’ Donuts on fire. A man crashes through the storefront window burning alive and screaming.

"First I can’t help noticing that it’s four men that are perpetrating this violence and I feel like a broken record but this is yet another example of toxic masculinity and our culture of violence writ large. Secondly, it should not be surprising that these men are white.” There's a shot of one of the Heavenly King's opening his umbrella, water gushes out that liquefies an entire family stuck in their Dodge Caravan as their glowing green skeletons wash down the street.

Ted interrupts.

"It does appear the flying men look Asian or at least have an Asiany appearance. We've had reports of..."

"Being Asian is also a part of whiteness Ted. I'm honestly getting tired of explaining this, but yes, just because you're Asian doesn't mean you also aren't benefiting from white privilege." The camera pans to Pig who’s stabbing at Zōchō-ten, his blows being deflected as he's thrown into a parking garage. "Regardless of where they’re from, it’s obvious these men feel entitled because they’ve grown up in a culture that’s fed their every desire.” The shot cuts to a Starbucks, people fleeing with their Fitbit’s and Frappuccinos, their heads lopped off left and right as the bodies fall shaking to the asphalt. “Movies, video games, pornography, every cultural manifestation teaches men they can do whatever they want and nothing bad will happen.” 

A man jogging down the sidewalk whistling along to an Aerosmith song blaring from his earbuds is cut in half, his torso falling to the ground as his legs splay on top of him.

Ted swivels in his chair. 

"And now we turn to our conservative columnist, Mark Richards. Mark,” an older white man in a suit gives a curt smile, “why does America hate people of color?”

He raises his eyebrows.

"Well, I'd like to start by addressing the issue at hand, which is, there's a mutant pig rampaging in an American city and he needs to be stopped. What we don't need is this divisive talk about who’s killing who or what color the person is. We need to stand united and say to our common enemy,” his voice grows much louder, “We will not let the deep state coordinate with the Chinese government in order to test biological weapons on our own people!” A school bus skids through an intersection on two wheels them topples over as children climb out of the shattered windows fleeing into the street as a 30-foot snake slithers over it crushing it into the ground. “This is obviously a Chinese plot orchestrated with ‘the elites’ to form a globalist world government that hopes to divide us…“ The Rock N’ Bowl explodes sending flaming bowling balls sailing through the sky cratering into the YMCA swimming pool, punching holes in the bottom and draining the water onto the offices below, “Biological weapons. Animal human hybrids grown in secret laboratories. Mutated communist Pig DNA. There’s no telling the depths these people will go to in order to destroy this great country of ours, because,” the footage ends with Zōchō-ten skewering six people on his sword then pushing them off with his foot sending them tumbling into a pile, “The United States is the greatest country on earth!" 

Ted turns back to the camera, a blood-dripping Twitter logo in the upper corner.

"This real-world rampage has caused a rampage of its own…on social media. We have reports of six tweets in the last hour that seem to show support for ‘The Pig’. One here by U3ks82ak reads, "Pig is my hero" another by user_dkslj_2aa simply says "I like Pig." He turns to Kate, "Kate, what do you make of this show of support? Are there other pigs out there? Is this some kind of religious demon cult that’s been lying dormant and is now starting to emerge?"

"People are saying 'demon cult' and I think that's fine. I think you can call it whatever you want but the fact of the matter is..."

"Now hold on a minute," Mark interrupts. "The social fabric of this country is being torn apart. Parents are getting divorced. We have men and women going into the SAME bathrooms! Of course we have a mutant demon pig attacking us!"

"Turn this shit off," Darlene says. "I can't take it anymore." 

"I told you it was the globalists," Steve says. "That Mark fellow knows what he's talking about."

"Mark is an idiot!" Darrell says. "How can you possibly take that guy seriously?"

"BOYS," Darlene raises her arms. "You think there’s gotta be one right answer, but what's more likely," she pauses, "is that you're both idiots." She takes a long drag. "I used to think I knew how things worked, but then some asshole shot me in the head, and I gotta tell you, it opened my eyes to one simple fact," her cigarette dangles from her lips as she leans in. "Nobody has a fucking clue what the fuck is going on. Not me. Not you,” she points to the TV, “and especially not those people!”

"I love you,” Loraine says trying to touch her hair again.

"I love you too honey."

“But I have to pee," she whispers. 

Darlene nods and helps her stand.

"He who throws the first stone,” Steve says pointing at Darrell.

“You’re the one throwing stones!”

“The sinful stone is cast into the water,” Loraine corrects him.

“Don’t you start with me,” Steve says. “We got a chi-com pig on the loose and you can’t even see it when it’s right in front of your face! Thinking this is all a bunch of bullcorn! I don’t hear you coming up with a plan. What’s your big plan, Darlene?”

She stops in front of the door to the women's restroom.

"My plan is to help Loraine, and when I'm done, if you're still sittin’ there, I'm gonna punch you in your stupid fucking face with this hand," she says showing it to him. "And so while we're taking care of business, I want you to think about which eye you like more, the left or the right." She swings the door open with her foot and pulls Loraine in as it slams behind her.

Steve sits there holding his beer. 

"Are you going to let her hit me Darrell?" Darrell shrugs. "It's not right. Fighting a woman." He finishes his beer and throws a twenty on the table. "This ain't right Darrell," then walks out.

"See you tomorrow Steve.” 

Darlene pushes the door open and saddles back up. 

"She's going to be a while," then looking down the bar, "Did that pussy leave?"

"You said you were going to hit him."

"Oh gawd! Can't a man tell when a lady’s joking?"

"I don't know Darlene. I thought you’re gonna punch him."

"Yeah. Well. Maybe I was. I don't know anymore."

He restocks the beer then seeing Darlene’s grown quiet, "So where's that monkey of yours? Is he meeting you here?"

Her head sinks lower.

"We had a falling out."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Well…that depends Darrell with two L's.” She lifts her head up. “May I have another drink?"

He pours a beer and slides it over. Darlene takes a sip then lets out a deep sigh.

"You ever fall in love with an asshole?"

"I've been the asshole someone’s fallen in love with."

"Yeah. I've done that one too."

“It's like a dream
No end and no beginning
You're here with me, it's like a dream”

Darlene looks over to the glowing green rectangle of the stereo.

”God damn this is a long song.”

”I think I accidentally hit repeat.” He walks over to check.

“We’re living in a material world Darrell….and…I don’t know what kinda girl I am anymore.”

He finishes stacking the napkins then walks back over.

"So, you and this monkey were...romantic?"

"Darrell! I outta smack your mouth.” Takes another drink. “Not him. It was this other…guy. Shit. Don’t even know what to call him. I had this…” she grimaces. “It’s hard to explain but…Jesus Christ, Darrell, can you turn off this god damn song!.” He pushes a button and the bar goes quiet. Darlene lets the silence settle over her. 

“I lost someone today, and you know what the worst part is? We were awful for each other. People tried telling me. I lost friends over this shit. Lost my god damn dog.” Mashes her cigarette onto a coaster. “You know, you see yourself making these mistakes. You watch…like it’s someone else. Opening the door. Turning the key. Driving over there. Sitting in the car looking at that door wondering what you’re gonna find when you open it. And all with these hands,” she holds them up, “but they don’t belong to me. They don’t do what I want…or…they do what I know I want but can’t say.” 

She pounds a fist on the bar then flattens it out, her palm resting on the polyurethaned wood. She traces the circle of water with her finger, draws a line that glides for a bit then runs dry. 

“It just felt so damn good.” She looks up at Darrell for some recognition and he gives her a nod, “but at the same time, there's this…it’s like some kinda,” she looks past him to the small retablo painting hanging above the bar. A Mexican man is dancing with a skeleton, flat blue sky, wonky purple alleyway with Jesus crucified behind him, a small white cloud at his feet as he bends his head in silence. “It’s like that god damn painting right there. Dancin’ with death. Holding each other, feeling his bony hips push against you, falling and mesmerized and the whole time you’re dancing and dying but it feels so good you don’t want it to end. Your skin’s peelin’ off but…it feels good. Why would that feel good, Darrell? That should feel awful right?”

He shakes his head not sure what to say.

“Honestly can't tell what's a bigger surprise, that there's a magic monkey in my life or…that feeling.” She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “And it doesn't go away. When you lose ‘em. There's this nothingness, like the dance somehow made it all worthwhile and now that it’s over, everything after….just feels like a joke." 

Darrell sighs, puts both hands on the bar. 

"That’s…a lot.” He scratches his head. “You ever….see a therapist Darlene?"

She looks back insulted.

"They understand what's going on ‘bout as well as the TV! Besides, I got Darrell with two L's and you're free."

“Well then,” he pours himself a drink and holds it up to her, "to living life and not knowing shit."

A big smile breaks over Darlene's face.

"I'll drink to that!"

August 16, 2020 /Jori Sackin
darlene, key west, journey to the west, jesus christ
1 Comment
116.12.jpg

11

July 26, 2020 by Jori Sackin

Six heads in a window
blonde and brown wigs 
falling forward 
covering the faceless ovals  
revealing their bald heads 
the red and black 
"closed" sign 
leans against 
their elongated necks 

Nine spikes pierce through the back door ripping it off the hinges as a cloud wafts through followed by Pig coughing, waving his hand, his reflection dipping in and out of the oval shaped mirrors that line the walls as he stops in front of one, touches the stub of his lopped ear, turns his head to wince at the cut down his face. Mara follows behind, holding her sword, carefully scanning the room as she steps into the damp darkness of the beauty parlor.

“Can’t you do anything quietly!” 

Pig tosses his rake on the counter, plops down in a chair and spins around. She stops him with her foot, her glare softening to worry. 

"How do you know they can't see through walls?"

He kicks her leg out of the way and starts swiveling.

“Because they would’ve been here by now.”

She listens to the sirens, the chair squeaking, the cooing and rustling of pigeons nested in the plastic beauty sign bolted to the brick facade. A pink cabinet is on its side, one door on the floor, the other bent back revealing old aerosol bottles, small pictures of women seductively whipping their hair around. She picks one up, frowns, holds it for him to see.

“What?”

“Look what you make women do.”

“Oh, I make them do it.”

“Pigs. Men. You know what I mean.”

He groans.

"This is what you want to talk about after THAT," he says motioning to the door. “How many times do you want to…” His head falls back and his mouth opens to the ceiling. “I can’t. I just can’t with this!” He swivels in the beauty shop chair. “So I like beautiful women.” He spins all the way around and kicks his feet out. “I like beautiful young women. What do you want me to do? I didn't CHOOSE to be attracted to them just like I didn't CHOOSE to be a pig." He stops himself in front of the dresser, peels a Polaroid’s that’s been glued to the mirror.

A pair of teeth 
smile back 
next to a pink lamp
and a doily
the wallpaper
and the shine of the plastic
obscure her curves
soaking into the couch
and the dark yellow
clouds of emulsion

He fans himself with the photo. 

"How do you think it should work? A three-thousand-year-old pig should be attracted to other three-thousand-year-old pigs?

"If you can’t change, you can at least abstain. Just the thought of…” 

She shudders. 

“Wait, are we talking about sex?”

“What did you think we were talking about?” Instead of answering he whips out his phone. The soft blue glow lights up his wet pig nose. "Great. Now you’re ignoring me. Why don't you do something useful and find out where we are.”

"We're in Gainesville and it's 92 degrees,” says holding it up for her to see, “and there's a little cloud with a lightning bolt so I think it's going to rain." He looks back and scrolls down. "65% chance." 

"What if we make it to Big Pine and he's not there? What if he comes back and can’t find us?”

"He'll find us. It doesn't matter where we go. Pretty soon he'll come crashing through the ceiling talking about how we need to go to some god-forsaken place to do some impossible thing. Honestly, I'm glad we got separated. Gives me time to relax." 

"How long has it been?" 

"Two weeks? Time works differently down there."

"I know how TIME works."

"Yeah? Then stop asking questions you know the answer to."

She sits in one of the chairs and swivels a bit but can't get it going so she kicks her legs, runs her hands up and down the padding of the armrests.

"So…who were those guys?"

Pig arches an eyebrow.

"You don't know?"

She frowns.

"Don't make me ask again."

He slumps in the chair so his hooves raise up higher on the counter.

"I suppose you wouldn't know. Spent most of your time down there,” he says pointing to the linoleum. “Didn't get to see the majesty of heaven." He cradles his head in his palm. "The short version is we're screwed." He looks up trying to think where to start. "You know about Monkey and all the stuff that happened before, right?" She nods. “So the people up there," he says pointing to the drop ceiling, "are not fond of The Great Sage Equal to Heaven. They've been looking for a reason to put him back under that mountain he's always going on about. I imagine this stunt with Darlene was all they needed to send someone after him. After us. You know what I mean."

"Yes, but who?”

"The Four Heavenly Kings. Heard of them?” She shakes her head. “There's Tamon-ten, the leader. He rules the north. He was the guy with the umbrella pelting us with rain. Zōchō-ten’s in the south. The one with the sword that did this.” He traces the line down his face. "Jikoku-ten is the ruler of the east. He had that guitar looking thing. “

"It's called a pipa. How do you not know that?"

"You want to hear this or not?" She folds her arms across her chest and rolls her eyes. "I’m going to take that as a yes.” He clears his throat. “Jikou-ten plays the pipa," he says over-pronouncing, "and...who's the last one? With the serpent. He's the one we have to be worried about because he has this divine eye that can see through…” He sits up. “Damn. I guess he can see through walls.” He throws the photo back on the counter. “So the Four Heavenly Kings are looking for us and we're pretty much screwed. Might as well enjoy ourselves because once they catch us,” he leans forward, “and they will catch us, they're going to haul us up to the Jade Emperor and he’s not going to be happy," he looks down at her sword, "with either of us."

Mara puzzles over this as Pig starts scrolling on his phone. She hops out of her seat, reaches in the window, pulls out one of the blonde wigs and puts it on. He looks up.

"Yeah, that's not going to work.."

"You can transform yourself can't you?" she says throwing open up some cabinets.

"Sure. I'm not as good as Monkey but..."

She disappears in the back.

“There’s an apartment back here!” She returns in an oversized blue dress, twirls in front the mirror then her eyes narrow at Pig’s reflection. "If you say one sexist thing I'm going to open that scar across your face." 

He opens his mouth, stops himself, then starts drumming his belly, sighs, then spins the chair and when it comes around he’s a young tattooed punk. She nods in approval.

"So you prefer this to my fat ugly pig-headed self?"

"It's an improvement. Let's just leave it at that."

"Because I could make myself uglier and fatter if you wanted."

"This is fine."

"So we're in our disguises. Now what?"

Mara bites her lip and squints. 

"We'll steal a car.”

"Neither of us know how to drive."

"Then we'll find someone who does."

"And what about our weapons?"

She disappears in back, comes out wheeling a full-bodied mannequin, armless, glass eyes, long thick lashes and two unmovable legs that extend down to the armature base. She picks up his rake and fits it so the handle runs up her back. Pig nods approvingly as she pulls out her sword, stands in front of the mannequin trying to find a place for it. 

"God damn it," she says. "Close your eyes." Pig closes his eyes as Mara sticks the sword up through the torso then runs and gets a long dress to cover her up. "Ok, you can open them."

"You don't think I know what you did? I know what you did."

"You would've made it weird."

"What makes it weird is telling someone to close their eyes." Pig looks at her next to the mannequin, the slightly askew blonde wig, the dress four sizes too big, her golden boots shining in the light. He stands, cracks his back and lets out a big yawn that turns into a stretch. "I just want to go on the record,” he says making his way to the front, “that I think this is a stupid idea and that we're going to get caught the second we step out this door.” He kicks it sending it flying into the street. “But that being said, I'm ok with going out this way."

He saunters out pushing the mannequin as Mara follows behind scanning the sky.

"No cars," she says nervously.

They walk as bits of white fall from the sky. Pig reaches up and lets one land in his palm, smears it grey, looks up to an office building with a smoldering hole, black smoke pouring out, bits of paper and ash floating down. 

“I do not remember doing that.”

They stop in front of a red Pontiac. The driver, who swerved onto the median then abandoned the car, made it about five steps before a falling concrete gargoyle split his head open on the sidewalk. They stand over him as Mara crouches down. Pig, sensing a break, gets his phone out and starts scrolling. 

“Don’t you ever feel bad?”

“What?” Pig throws her a disappointed look then goes back to texting. “You mean the killing? Sure. When I think about it.” He finishes and puts it in his pocket. “But then I get hungry or tired or I start thinking about something else and it goes away. How bout you?”

She stares at the man.

“Only when I see their faces.”

Pig moves her aside then steps on what’s left of his head and squishes it into the asphalt.

“Better?”

“Your impossible,” she says wandering over to the car. “Hey, he left the key’s inside.” She climbs through to the passenger seat and buckles her seat belt as Pig bends down and looks in. 

“What are you doing?”

“Let’s just give it a shot, ok?”

He looks at the controls, wrinkles his forehead then slumps in the seat.

“I'm driving because I'm the man?"

"You're driving because my legs aren't long enough to reach the pedals."

He slams the door, looks at the steering wheel, rotates it back and forth, turns the key and a bunch of bright lights and numbers illuminate the dash. 

"I've seen people do this a thousand times," he says pushing on the brake. He tries the gas and the engine revs, pushes it down to the floor and it roars. He fiddles with a slender black arm sticking out on the side and the wipers turn on, water sprays across the windshield.

"I think you have to pull this thing," Mara says tugging the shifter. They lurch forward, fishtail down the street then smacks into a lamp post. The airbags deploy as Pig’s head is left resting on an inflatable pillow. He lifts it up just in time to see the lamp post crash into the second-floor window of the post office, sending sparks up from the street that sets a row of hedges on fire. He watches it burn then reaches down, opens the ashtray, finds a pack of cigarettes, holds it out to Mara.

“I don’t smoke.”

He shrugs. Lights one. Sits smoking awhile.

“That…” he blows a smoke ring that hovers, “could’ve gone better.”

“I can’t believe we’re so bad at this,” she says pushing on the airbag in front of her. “Two immortals and…”

“Semi-immortals.”

“Whatever.”

“We’re…immortalish.”

“That’s not the point. We’ve been on this earth for thousands of years and we can’t even drive a god damn car.”

Sirens echo off the buildings. They scoot down in their seats and peer out the window only to see a van turn the corner. The bright lights shine in their eyes as it pulls up next to them. A man's face pokes out, looks at the crashed car, the hedge on fire, the smoking building and the sparks shooting out from the base of the pole.

"You guys need some help?”

Before the words leave his lips Pig’s thrown the mannequin in back and Mara is climbing in. He slams the trunk then joins her in the backseat.

"Pretty crazy," the guy says weaving around abandoned cars, mailboxes blown off the bolts, glass covering the sidewalk, dark green awnings ripped to shreds and hanging. 

"Crazy," Pig says. "What's your name buddy?"

"Billy.”

“We’re Billy too,” Pig says winking at Mara then mulling it over. “I’m a ‘y’ and she’s an ‘ie’. He looks around the interior. “Nice van.” The second row of seats has been pulled out and the mannequin is lying face down behind him. He reaches back and arranges her dress so the sword is covered then notices a bundle of rope, some nylon ties and an ax lying to one side with plastic bags inside other plastic bags marked with red and black X’s. 

“Sorry about the mess.” Billy says nervously. “Haven’t had time to clean.”

Pig turns around. Laughs to himself.

“What’s so funny?” Mara asks quietly.

“I'll tell you later.”

“Are you guys brother and sister?” Billy asks looking in the rearview.

“No, we’re a couple. We come from a religious sect where it’s ok for grown men to marry children.”

“Oh.” Billy looks confused. 

“I’m just fucking with you Billy. She's my sister. How bout you? Is there a Mrs. Billy out there?” 

"Mrs. Billy. Uh. Yes.”

"Where'd you meet?"

"We met..." They pass a sign for the beach. "At the beach."

“That's a great story Billy. We met at the beach too," he says putting his arm around Mara who immediately squirms away.

"I thought you were brother and sister?"

“We are, but my mother, God rest her soul, gave birth on the beach and I was the one that delivered her.”

“Oh.” Billy scrunches up his forehead, not sure what to say. “Neat.”

"It is neat. Pretty damn neat.” Pig leans forward putting his elbows on the seats in front of him. "You've really got a way with words Billy. Has anyone ever told you that?" He looks up nervously, his fingers tapping the steering wheel. "Where are you taking us? You never asked where we were headed."

"Right. I…forgot. Where are you going?"

"The Keys," Mara says.

"That's...far."

Pig leans back in his seat.

"Billy, I'm going to tell you something and I want you to listen real close." Billy nods as he turns onto 441 South. "My sister and I have been on the road for a while, and when you're on the road you get a sense for people. You develop an intuition. A feeling. And you learn to trust that feeling, even though sometimes it leads you astray. You ever been led astray by a feeling Billy?" He nods but doesn't answer. "That's what I like about you Billy. Man of few words. Why elaborate when you can just nod. Not many people take advantage of a good nod but you strike me was a man of tradition. Am I right Billy?" Billy nods uncertain what he's agreeing to as he takes the Sweetwater exit. "Sweetwater," Pig says reading the sign. "It feels good to say what you see. Ever noticed that Billy? Like, right now for instance, I'm sitting here and I see a sign like this one up ahead and then I say it right as we pass. Waffle House. Just like that. It feels good to say it out loud. Say it with me Billy."

"Waffle House," Billy says rolling through a stop sign.

"Feels good, doesn't it? Why is that Billy? Why does it feel good?"

“Leave him alone," Mara says elbowing Pig in the ribs. “If you’re trying to impress me it’s not working.”

The van pulls into the Sweetwater Wetlands then loops around to the main building, which is deserted. Billy pulls over and parks in a small gravel lot, turns off the car, takes a deep breath and pulls out a gun, points it at Pig and Mara. 

"You think you’re real fucking smart don't you? Do you feel smart now? You feel like running your mouth now? Everything’s just a big fucking joke to you. You act like you’ve got it figured out. But you didn’t figure this out did you? Well, the ride’s over pal.”

"The ride’s over," Pig repeats back then over to Mara. "He thinks we’re pals.”

"Get out of the car!"

Pig turns so he’s facing her.

"What do you think we should do?"

Mara shrugs. 

"We need to get to The Keys and he knows how to drive."

"Yeah, but it's five hours. Do you really want to spend five hours with this guy?"

"He's got a van and the mannequin’s in the back."

"Damn.” He folds his arms across his chest. “I forgot about the mannequin.” He looks over to Billy. "You got us in a real pickle here Billy. On the one hand, I gotta say, I don't really care for your conversational skills up to this point BUT I'm also incredibly lazy and I gotta say, this whole," he waves his hand around, "whatever this is, has me intrigued."

Billy pushes the gun against Pig's head.

"If you say another word I swear to god I'm going to..."

Pig smiles feeling the steel of the barrel against his forehead.

"Which God Billy? You know there are a lot of them up there and I gotta tell you, and this is going to hurt,” he leans forward pushing the gun with his head. “They don't know who you are. I mean, look at all these people." Billy looks out at the empty park. “Not right here. On the planet. It’s a lot to keep track of.” Pig puts his hands on the headrests, the guns still poking into his head. “Do you have a favorite rock group Billy? Do they still call them rock groups?" he says looking over to Mara, who is doing her best to ignore him. "What’s your favorite rock group Billy?"

"The…the Rolling Stones?"

"You said that like you were unsure. Your voice went up a bit at the end like it was a question. That's fine. The Rolling Stones is a pretty boring pick Billy. Basic. Isn't that what they say now?" Mara is still ignoring him. "The Rolling Stones have a lot of fans. Lots of people want to meet Mick Jagger. But he's only one man and he only has so much attention. It's the same up there," he says pointing. "People are under the impression that gods are infinite, that they're all-knowing and all-seeing. But that's not true. Gods are just like Mick Jagger. They have God problems and their God problems are a lot more complex than Billy problems, you know what I mean? So when they get up in the morning they don't say to themselves, 'How's Billy doing? I wonder what I can do for Billy? I really need to make sure Billy's life has an arc that's meaningful and satisfying.' See what I mean?"

Mara lets out a deep sigh.

"I'm getting bored. Either kill him or let's get on with this." 

Pig nods.

"What's your plan here Billy? Doesn't seem like a robbery. You some kind of serial killer? Are you planning on dragging us into the woods, cutting our heads off and rearranging our bodies into some freaky altar because you had a messed up childhood that, I don't know, made you weird inside? Are you weird inside Billy? You some kind of pedophile trying to take advantage of sweet little Mara here? Because I've got news for you," he leans in sending Billy scrambling back, "she's a little older than she looks."

"What is wrong with you! You're both insane!"

"We're insane? You just picked two people stranded in the middle of a disaster and drove them out to a park to do god knows what. And we're the crazy ones." He sits back in the seat and puts his arm around her headrest. "You're right though. There is something wrong with me. Should I show him what's wrong with me? You want to see what's wrong with me, Billy?"

His body starts to shake, his belly enlarges as his face mutates into a hideous looking Pig. 

"OH FUCK!"

"Oh fuck is right, Billy. You are about to have the worst day of your life, and the first thing you can do is stop waving that ridiculous thing around and put both hands on the wheel in front of you. Can you do that for me?"

Billy pulls the trigger and a bullet goes into Pig's shoulder, who lets out a yelp, thrashes around in the backseat, then grabs the gun and throws it on the floor. He looks at the giant bruise on his shoulder, a little blood trickling out. 

"Did you know they could do this?"

"I've never been shot before," Mara says still staring out the window.

"Damn! These things have gotten stronger."

Pig hits the seat in front of him sending Billy's head into the windshield. A small crack spiderwebs out as his body falls into the passenger seat. 

"Great. You killed him."

Pig reaches over and pulls him back up, his head falling limply to the side. 

"He's fine."

Billy's vision fades to black as he hears the murmuring of Pig and Mara’s voices, the opening and closing of doors, birds calling from the swamp then…nothing. His eyes slowly open. The fuzz and blurs come into focus as he realizes both his hands have been duct-taped to the steering wheel. He tries to pull them off but they won’t budge. He looks down and his torso is duct-taped to the driver's seat, looks to his right and Mara is sitting in the passenger seat holding his gun. A monstrous-looking Pig is in the rearview, splayed out in the back eating a bag of Taki's, his fingers and lips red with melted powder.

"Oh God," he lets out and starts crying.

Pig finishes the bag, making sure to get the last of the crumbs at the bottom. 

"I was wrong about you Billy. I mistook you for a Cool Ranch man. I said to myself, ‘A man whose favorite band is the Rolling Stones must like Cool Ranch Doritos.’ But you surprised me. Fuego Taki's. Nice.”

"Don't listen to him," Mara says poking him in the chest with the gun. "Drive."

Billy looks at his hands.

"I...I can't shift."

"Damn," Mara says looking back at Pig. "We forgot about the gear thing."

"Shift it yourself," Pig says throwing the bag on the floor.

Mara tries but it won't budge.

"You need to turn the key first," Billy offers. 

Mara turns the key then shifts it all the way down. 

"It's got to be where the R is." 

She looks at the letters and shifts it to R. Billy pushes on the gas and they pull out. 

"Now you have to shift it to D." 

She shifts it again as they loop around and get back on the highway.

“Look at us,” she says smiling back at Pig. “We’re driving!”

July 26, 2020 /Jori Sackin
gainesville, journey to the west, pig, mara, beauty shop, Billy, Sweetwater Wetlands
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